May you forgive yourself for putting yourself through so much pain, may you give yourself a second chance or even a third.
May you take a deep breath without feeling like your chest is filled with needles that poke through your skin every time you take in the air around you.
Because even if you do a mistake, your body will work it's hardest to guide you through this day, and every day that's bound to come.
Because we all learn from our mistakes.
But what if these mistakes makes me more weak? What if I'm slowly drowning because I can't swim through the weight of my feelings?
My own mind is slowly killing itself when I leave myself to my thoughts. Dark nights filled with tears and fears do not make me learn anymore. They might do the opposite, all this sadness has made me forget every day that is passing on this earth.
The warmth of the sun that is warming my skin does not warm my heart and it do remain cold and broken 'till this day, and 'till I sleep for good.
I wish peace may find my way, because this constant battle between my head and heart is slowly, but surely, making me rot from the insides. Every step feels like a step closer the end and I have come to accept I may die sad, rotten and forgotten.
I do not wish to please anyone to make them love me, but to slow down the feeling of rot in the mess called my body. Pleasing people make me feel less horrible 'cus of the way you're portrayed by people. I may then pass away with flowers on my grave. The flowers may bloom to hide the rotten body I have. I may one day bloom into something beautiful.
But who knows, maybe my rotten body will make all the flowers die and portray the ugly feeling inside me?
All I wish for is to bloom into something. But for now I might rot and make good dirt for the beautiful flowers that may come after me.
