A Lovers' Quarrel

gotem

Midnight was nearing, heavy rain plummeting on the concrete outside. A lonely boy, Dakkuwo, lay upon his bed, awaiting a message from his friend, Deez. They'd play Roblox every night together, occasionally accompanied by their dearest homeboy Asura. However, this night seemed to grow longer and longer, as the lonely boy's screen never showed a green dot next to Deez's username, indicating that she was online.

Soon, the Sun began to creep over the horizon. Dawn turned into morning, and Dakkuwo's corneas were as dry as asphalt. He hadn't blinked once since approximately 11pm, and as much as his eyes were dry, he himself was on fire. Deez was the coal, fueling his flames.

"This dirty dumb darn disgusting bitch," he cried, pitching his phone at the wall, "I'm gonna slaughter this vending machine item headass bitch."

"You're gonna do... what!?" Deez screamed, revealing herself from under Dakkuwo's bed.

Immediately, he sprinted across the room, grabbing his trusty safety scissors. He screamed, "I SAID IMA SLAUGHTER YOU, YOU VENDING MACHINE ITEM HEADASS BITCH..." The words traveled out the gaps between the teeth in his tightly clenched jaw. He picked up his bed and threw it out the window, exposing a curled up Deez, a pool of tears and sweat underneath her.

"Damn it's really that deep?" She whimpered, shoving her face into her knees, pulling them closer to her shaking body with her arms. Deez became a whole ass sphere, looking dumb as hell.

"I mean, yeah. I guess, but these scissors finna be deeper in your ass in a few seconds." Dakkuwo charged Deez, glomping on her like a neckbeard would do to a child in a fursuit at a Furry convention. Except...once he was on top of her, his demeanor changed. He threw the scissors out the window, landing on a child walking past his house. Suddenly, he grabbed Deez's face with his hands, pinching their cheeks together so they looked like a little fishy.

"W-what are you doing, Dakkuwo-kun?" Deez sounded quite muffled, speaking through fish lips. She thought this might be another one of his social experiments (gone sexual).

"What you know about..." Dakkuwo broke out into a melody, the child outside screaming beginning to sing along. "...ROLLING DOWN IN THE DEEP?"

Deez gasped. "WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM-" they were shushed by Dakkuwo's Doritos® crumb covered fingers, as he quickly threw his backup pair of scissors out the window, killing the unsuspecting child.

"Be quiet, I hear something." Not only did Deez go silent, but also that bitch ass kid outside because he's fucking dead. Footsteps echoed throughout the house, which is normal because 6 people live in it, but Dakkuwo was suspicious anyway.

Out of nowhere, the door busted open, and Asuna flew in, catching their attention. "DAKKUWO, DON'T SING WITH HER! SHE'S DEADASS AN IMPOSTER, SHE WAS ON HER OTHER ACCOUNT PLAYING WITH ME AND SHE LEFT SO I SAID FUCK IT IMA TELL YOU!"

Dakkuwo turned his head back to Deez, and grabbed his backup backup pair of scissors. Almost instantly, he fucked Deez's ass, and not in a good way. He twisted the scissors inside as Deez cried and squirmed in pain, unable to escape as Dakkuwo is six feet tall, has an eight pack and biceps twice the size of his own torso.

"BRO CHILL!" She yelped, clenching her ass on the blades. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"What does it look like, the fuck?" Dakkuwo smirked, one side of his mouth lifting to his eyebrow, possibly creating the epicest side smile of 2021.

"Bro chill it's just a prank bro like shit you ain't have to do all that I was gonna tell you but look at you bruh you got scissors in Deez's ass before I could even say sike." Asuna fell to his knees, banging her head on the floor like a woodpecker.

"Oh wait for real?" He pulled the scissors out of Deez's ass and threw them out the window, landing another stab wound in the child's corpse. Dakkuwo stood up immediately, looking down at Deez, who's tear and sweat puddle now was mixed with blood (from their ass.)

"That was fucked up bruh." Deez stood up as well, throwing herself into Dakkuwo's ripped arms. He patted her on the head, sniffing her hair, dandruff filling his sinuses.

"So y'all gon kiss or what?" Asuna laughed, putting a bandaid on Deez's bottom mouth.

"I mean shiiiiit, but first, Deez..."

"Deez what?" She replied, scratching the back of her head in a timid fashion.

"Deez nuts." Asuna screamed, picking up Dakkuwo's backup backup backup pair of scissors and throwing them at Dakkuwo.

Before they could stab him, Dakkuwo grabbed Deez and body slammed them into the floor (on accident.) They glided out the broken window, landing into the dead body.

"Yo I ain't even gon front that was kinda sick, I thought I was the only one who could straight up demolish a kid with scissors without even trying. I was gonna be mad but now I'm just going to forgive you and leave. K bye." Dakkuwo picked up Deez bridestyle, jumping onto the windowsill and springing away into the distance.

"Damn that intrusive thought really turned into an impulse, I didn't even have enough time to tell them that was an accident. They cute tho." Asuna wiped away a tear with their sleeve, watching the baes tree hop to their next destination.

The End