1:15 || Muke

Epilogue

Many people got their happily ever after with the one person they swore they would spend the rest of their life with; Luke Hemmings wasn't one of those people. After Michael, Luke swore he'd never be able to fall in love again, but through all the ups and downs, he never did.

- - -  F L A S H B A C K - - - 

Sulking. That was all he ever did. It's been two years since Michael's death and Luke still doesn't know how to cope. He refuses to seek help or leave his house unless it was for work. His routine was wake up, go to work, eats, sleep and repeat. It was tiring. He was tired but he didn't know what else to do with his life. He wanted closure, but how does he close something with someone who is dead and had never explained why they had left in the first place.

As he pulled in his drive way, something caught his eyes. A small brown box sitting on his mat, in front of his door step. 

After parking and getting out of his car, Luke approached the box confused and slightly frightened of what might be inside of it. On top of the box, was an envelope with his name on it in writing he would never forget. Michael's writing.

The blond could feel anger in his veins and fear rushing through his body. He wanted to know so much but got a stupid letter. He wanted to cry, but crying was weak and Luke couldn't be weak anymore. He wanted to scream but he felt like his ability to utter a word or sound was ripped right out of him. He wanted to blame someone, but who was there to blame anymore but himself.

He picked the box up, though, despite the cries of 'no's' he was hearing in his head. He wanted answers, so many answers and this could be the closest thing to an answer he would ever get.

He opened the door of his house, entered then shut it after himself. He sat on the couch, placing the box next to him then ripping the envelope open. In the envelope were many papers and a photo, maybe two. Shakingly, Luke took the papers out and read the letter.

Dear Luke,

I hope this is Luke, if not, then this is a completely horrible fail. If you aren't Luke Hemmings, it would be preferable if you didn't read this letter, but if you read on, you'll realise I'm no longer alive, therefore I cannot stop you even if you do read this letter. If you are Luke, you're probably confused, angry and maybe even hating me, but I don't blame you. I don't blame you at all if you feel anything horrible towards me. I deserve it. I know I do.

Why wait two years till I give you this letter? By then, I hope you'll be over me. That is why I'm sending you this so late. I hope you're over me. It sounds harsh now that I think about it, but Luke you deserve so much better than what I had to offer you. You deserve to be happy but you can't be happy with me, even if you say you are. I always bring you down, and I'm getting off topic but I sent you this two years later because I hoped you were over me but still thinking about me every now and then. Selfish but I can't help it.

Two years ago, I killed myself. You know that and I really hope it wasn't you who found me laying on the floor dead. I'm sorry I shot myself and I'm sorry I had you thinking I was doing good. Truth is, I don't know how I'm doing, Luke. You made me happy and every time you were around, I couldn't help but feel special, but something always felt wrong, and it wasn't you, it was me.

Something felt wrong because I was always living life afraid of what will happen next. I was so afraid of the future and afraid of those who were around us. I was scared of getting hurt, of getting you hurt too. Everything about life just freaked me out most of the times, I didn't know what to do.

Some nights I stayed up, and watched you as you were sleeping. While I was up, I would think and God those thoughts have ruined so much for me. Being with you scared me at times because I felt like I was becoming more dependant on you and I was so terrified you'd leave me. Everyone has to leave at one point because that's how life is but I was so scared you'd think of me as a burden and hate me and I couldn't live with that. 

Some nights were different though. Some nights I felt like I couldn't breathe and everything hurt. Breathing felt so hard and moving a single muscle felt like I was getting stabbed over and over again. I didn't want you to have to worry about me when I felt that way. I didn't want you to worry about me in general actually, but you did. You worried about me so much and I was so scared of bringing you down with me.

Enough with the bad sad things. In this envelope are two photos. The first day I saw you, and the last day I saw you. These moments are by far the most important two.

In this box is something I've been meaning to give you for a long, long time. But I'm so longer alive, and I was too much of a wuss to actually give it to you.

I love you

Forever and always,

m.g.c

After just more than 20 months of not shedding a tear, Luke cried like never before the day he opened the envelope. Shaking and scared, Luke opened the box. A part of him was screaming 'NO' but a part of him was telling him to open the box. But Luke never saw the point of listening to the part of him that told him not to do something. 

Opening the box slowly, a shiny piece of metal began to reflect. The sound of his heart beating was becoming louder and was becoming the only sound he could hear. As he kept opening the box, the reflection of the metal began to become stronger and stronger causing his heart to beat louder and louder.

- - -  F L A S H B A C K - - - 

Luke sat down, looking at his fingers smiling. On his ring finger rested a metal ring he had received sixty  years ago by the boy he swore he would always love.

'forever and always' it said.

"Forever and always," he whispered his last breath.