Is that really deku?

Chapter 6

(found this photo it is the definition of ✨adorable✨ Also for those who are curious my time line is much slower, you'll understand you've read the manga or watched the new season 5)

Deku's POV

It was a freezing night, which didn't help this feeling of numbness. I wanted to cry, to scream. Anything to stop feeling this hole in my heart. I felt like an imposter, that's just intruding someone's body, mind and thoughts.

Most people my age when they feel like this, they cut themselves with knifes, blades and other types of sharp things, that I don't wanna think about. Back when I was in a male body, I tried it. I just bleed out and it didn't stop. I passed out after that. This happened in middle school second year, after a session of Kacchan beating me up, with his buddies.

Ever since that day, when I cut myself in middle school I promised myself and my mother to never do it again. That doesn't mean I don't think about it, when I'm alone. If I were to do it now as I am as a female, I would most definitely die. It seems my female body has no pain tolerance, an it's just weak.

'Enough thinking of depressing thing time to get some sleep.'

It was around 8.30-9.00pm, I listen from my dorm I heard everyone coming to the dorms once school was finished, they all seemed so happy. That made my happy, while waiting for my bed time, I decided to filled in my notebooks of all the new equipment and skills everyone has be learning.

It seems Shinso, the brain washing kid has become a fond of Aizawa's, I think if he keeps it up, he may become apart of class 1-A. I'm proud of how far he has come since the sport festival.

I started a new page from my notebook and started making notes about his improvement that I've seen so far like his scarf and mask. Hopefully the next time I see him I'll be able to ask him. 'and hopefully I'll be a male'

It was now 9.08pm 'better go to bed'

Darkness consumed me, I didn't have a dream or a nightmare. Just Darkness.

The sound of beeping got me out of that darkness, my all might alarm. I jumped up eager for the day, but a gravity had it my chest slammed down, hard. It sore for like 2 minutes before going back to normal. I'm not jumping again that hurt like hell.

I got ready for a shower since I was bothered to go last night. At least it don't have to wash my hair today so it'll be fast. I grabbed my towel, school clothes, soap and loofah and headed to the showers. I head to the farthest from the door so if someone came in the hopefully won't notice my towel. I had three towels, 1 all might for the beach, 1 light green for showering and another that is light grey which I use when the green one is wet.

I turned the water on it was hot at first but I just readjusted it to my liking, then washed my self of and got the hell out of the boys shower room.

It seems Kacchan got up early as expected, but the unexpected part was that he was making bacon and eggs for everyone. Maybe he's maturing, and stopped acting like a spoiled child.

I got to the dinner table and asked if I could have some, he just screamed at me like a child who got told no. I take it back, it still a unmatured, spoiled child. Of course I would never tell him this though.

I was stopped in thought when he passed my a plate with the food, he's made. He is getting better, just one step at a time. I smile at him and thanked him for the breakfast.

When I finished eating, ten more other people came down stairs and ate some breakfast, I headed to UA early cause I was planning to actually seem all might this time.