EINO X AVI: Freedom or Glory

III: Wounded but Not Defeated

It took me two full days to recover. Mang Rudy, stricken in years, was rushed to the hospital. In 24 hours, I have no choice but to meet with the Baltimores. I've been told wala pa si Annika, whom I've never met in person pero at least once a week tumatawag. I only answered her call once. Based on our very short conversation over the phone, she's the spoiled brat I imagined she'd be. Wala ng bago. Ganyan naman lahat ng rich girls, well, maybe except Avi. Unlike the other rich ladies I've met, she speaks differently and has a calm voice. Confident but not obnoxious, weak but unafraid.

I know I'm recovered but I just want to lie in bed. I opened my eyes and looked around. My white, laced Grecian curtains have been replaced by dark-hued Egyptian curtains. Of course, my Dad knows this side of me best. I get anxious with dark colors around my room. Ever since pinayagan ako to design my own room, I changed everything into lighter colors and more modern styles tulad ng minimalism. As I slept in bed for two whole days, I guess they had all the time to revert my room back to its old, lonely looks. According to psychology, dark colors indeed speak of elegance and sophistication, but on the other side, dark shades evoke sadness and even anger. I'm fine with anger. Matagal na akong galit sa mundong kinalakihan ko. But sadness is a different thing. My Dad knows how much I hate being "alone" and feeling like nobody's on my side. Mang Rudy's always been there for me, and my Grandparents too, but they're nowhere in sight today. After all, my Grandparents, who were the ones who "actually" raised me as a child, are unaware of my Dad's iron-hand ways since I moved with my parents at 13.

I closed my eyes and remembered our chismosa maids' stories in as much detail as I could. Remembering was the only way I had to convince myself after each beating that I will find the strength to one day walk out of my Dad's firm grasp.

"Ayoko po, Papa! Alam niyong si Roman ang mahal ko! I can't marry someone I don't love! I've always done everything you wanted me to do, nag-aral akong mabuti at sinunod ko lahat ng utos mo, but this is beyond your authority as my Father!"

"No! I'm still your Father, and I know what's best for you. Walang mangyayari sa buhay mo if you choose Roman. His empire has fallen, his men are scattered in the wind. I won't give my only daughter to that nobody. More importantly, because he lost his assets, wala na siyang maiitulong to strengthen our family."

"Yan lang ba ang worth ko sa'yo Papa? Is that all I am to you? Pangpa-lakas ng pamilya? Pang sigurado that an equally strong family will back you up should your own empire fall?"

"I don't need to explain these things to you, Ken. You won't understand until you take over, which, you never will if you choose that kid!"

"I never wanted any of this Papa! I don't want to take over. Ayokong maghawak ng baril. Ayokong mag-bilang ng pera. Ayokong maging preso sa mansion na to! I don't want to live by the gun and die by it!"

"Enough! This is the price you have to pay for being born in a rich family."

My maternal grandfather, the great Fernan Sevilla, allegedly locked up my Mom to make sure her wedding with my father, Arend Escobari, would push through.

"I've loved you since I first saw your photo," Arend twirled Enneken's hair in his hands. No response.

"I hope you will give me a chance, Ken. Lahat ng pinangako ni Roman sa'yo dodoblehin at tri-triplehin ko. You're the only one for me, just as I'm the only one for you. Sabi ng elders we're a match made in heaven."

"Heaven?" She finally responded.

"Is this what heaven is to you? Do you honestly think magiging masaya tayo? I don't love you and I never will, Arend. I've apologized many times to you about this, and I will never apologize ever again for how my heart honestly feels."