We Populate the Other Sides

The Conductor

Evie trailed behind Iris as they approached an abandoned train track. The air was a thick mist that shrouded the surrounding forest and only the shrieks of crickets filled the quiet night. Iris glanced up and down the train tracks, occasionally marking something down on her clipboard. Evie peered over her shoulder but Iris quickly hid her writings.

"Watch yourself." Iris snapped cooly.

Evie gave a nervous smile, "Sorry, miss,"

Iris shook her head and sighed, "Here's an important tip: things that you don't write are not for your eyes. Don't peep where you're not offered."

"Right, miss," Evie nodded eagerly. Iris smiled softly. She reached into the pouch on her belt and pulled out a small handful of greenish-gray ash.

"What's that?" Evie questioned quietly.

"It's called credil," Iris mushed the substance between her fingers until the sweat from her hand solidified it slightly, "It's a chemical we developed for communication. Once it's wet enough, it sends something like a sonar through this world and the other ones."

"Other ones?"

Iris smirked, "You'll see." Iris bit off a small piece of the ball, sucked on it a bit and then spat it onto the ground. Instantly, the sound of a train whistle echoed in the distance.

"Was that you--?" Evie started to ask then realized Iris had stepped on the train tracks. Iris stood in the middle of the rails and looked straight ahead.

Evie heard the train whistle again. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"There are many ways to the underworld," Iris answered without looking, "But I don't feel like walking."

Evie followed Iris's gaze down the train tracks and saw two bright headlights emerging from the fog. A full sized freight train was barreling down the railroad, directly towards Iris.

Evie gasped, "Iris, move!"

Iris didn't listen and raised her clipboard high above her head. The train didn't stop. Evie didn't know what she was thinking.

"Iris!" Evie screamed again. Iris frowned in annoyance and began to wave her arm, trying to signal down the train. It continued to stream forward. Evie groaned and tried to pull Iris off of the tracks.

Iris didn't budge and threw Evie off of her, "They're not stopping. We're going to have to jump."

"What?" Evie was speechless and continued to remain speechless as the train ran right into Iris. There was no sound and the mechanical monstrosity sailed right by her. Evie shook her head to clear her mind from the horror. This wasn't true. There had to be another view. Evie looked around her. The trees were blurry like missing textures and the only things that felt solid were the noise and wind from the train. Evie turned back to the metal monster. It howled and whistled like a beast of the night. It seemed endless. Evie didn't want to wait around and see if that was the truth. She took a few steps back, a deep breath and then a running start.

Evie jumped into the side of the train and landed on carpeted flooring. The railroad clunked underneath her as the train continued, unbothered by the twenty-year old who had suddenly appeared on board. Evie shot to her feet, preemptive fascination on her face. This awe slightly dropped as she looked around the carriage. Semi-transparent children in Victorian-era looking dresses stared blank faced into their empty dinner plates, not even blinking as Evie walked by them. It was extremely unsettling but the excitement in Evie's viens kept her moving forward into the next carriage.

She absentmindedly opened the door and nearly lost her footing, almost tumbling into an endless back void below the train. There was no wind but the silence was just as piercing. Cautiously, Evie tiptoed her way over to the next carriage, flinging it open and diving inside the crowded room. Elbows were in her face and her knees were causing grumbles from the ghastly passengers surrounding her. Evie, semi apologizing, used her talent of making her way through New York subways to get to the front of that carriage as well. She ducked and dodged tired arms that had been raised for centuries until a possibly deviously outstretched foot caused her to tumble into a lap of one of the only sitting passengers.

"Hey!" The grotesque, melting person shouted at Evie.

"Hey," Evie shouted back, pushing herself off the decaying man, "Apologizes, I didn't--"

"I'm trying to get some slee--" Instead of being completely cut off mid sentence, the man paused, hunched over, half swatting at Evie in his drunk-like state, as his voice stuttered like a phone call with a faulty connection. It sounded like bees were in his throat and Evie slowly moved forward. As Evie reached to open the exit door, Iris flung it open instead.

"Iris!" Evie exclaimed in relief.

"Goodness me, I was worried you didn't jump," Iris sighed.

"Yeah, about that--" Evie began to frown when Iris waved away her concern.

"Apology accepted. Now come on," Iris grabbed Evie's shirt and pulled her through the next set of carriages. A whirl of strange sights and interesting sounds muffled Evie's senses and it took her a second to realize when they had reached the front of the train. Iris's cabin was as normal as it could have possibly gotten, though it was a bit too plaid for Evie's taste.

"Take a rest," Iris waved to the bunk beds as she sat herself down in a lounge chair, "I don't know how long it's going to be. And if you're hungry, tough luck." Before Evie could ask anything, Iris had pulled out a newspaper and then passed out. Shrugging, Evie looked towards the carriage exit. Her meager knowledge of train anatomy led her to believe the conductor laid behind that door. With a last glance to make sure her boss was asleep, Evie snuck into the engine room.

The air was thick with a semi-translucent black fog. Near the front was a skeletal looking man sort of dancing in front of the engine. His hands were on two large levers, pushing them forward, as he tapped his foot and swayed his hips to silent music.

"Hello?" Evie stepped forward. The wooden floorboard creaked and the conductor's head spun like a loose screw so that he was facing backwards but his body was facing the same way.

"You don't have clearance!" He howled before Evie even had a chance to compose herself.

"I'm with Iris!" Evie shouted back. The conductor didn't seem impressed so Evie shoved her hand into her pocket and retrieved the napkin from the coffee shop, showing off Iris's signature and phone number.

The conductor tilted his ruined head then shrugged, "Seems like a bad way to go. But it's gonna be your funeral anyway." He spun his head back around and continued his little dance.

Evie pocketed the napkin and stepped closer, "What are you doing?"

"You have eyes," The conductor scoffed, "I'm clearly driving the train."

"I guessed as much. It just doesn't seem like you're doing much... driving."

The conductor leaned in suddenly until he was inches away from Evie's face, "You saying I don't know how to do my job properly?"

"I don't even know what your job is!" Evie squeaked.

"Hey, Conductor," Iris yawned in the doorway, "Can you not kill my assistant? That would be peachy keens."

"Kill?" The conductor, who was now the Conductor in Evie's mind, leaned in again, getting a good look at Evie's soulful eyes and then gasped, "A human!? Iris, that's ridiculous--"

"I know. Simply bonkers," Iris waved, uninterested, and turned around, "Wow. Leave the nice man to do his job, Evie." Evie looked between the Conductor and Iris before darting after her boss.

"Who was that?" Evie asked as Iris slowly returned to her chair.

"That's the Conductor." Iris answered the already known question.

"Yeah, but what's this place and all that?" Evie rushed before Iris had a chance to fall back asleep.

Iris groaned, "A railway is the most common way to transport undead souls. We have hundreds of trains just like this one running every hour of every day, all over the world. We just got unlucky. Now, get some sleep. I don't know how long until we get to the nexus and I don't want you to die of old age before we get there."

"What?" Evie stopped.

"You don't age while you sleep," Iris said matter-of-factly, "People who die in their sleep from old age are always technically murdered. Death just doesn't leave bullet holes."

"You can't just drop a fact bomb like that, I."

"You can't pass peacefully. Death is ruthless," Iris placed the newspaper over her eyes and began to snore.