Lost - Rafe Cameron

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The drive back is quiet and I just stare at the view the whole way there. The Summer was coming to an end and so were so many other things.

People will show you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be. I knew now that there's a difference between being patient and enabling toxic behavior.

Topper and I both freeze when we see Rafe's jeep in my driveway. "Do you want me to come in?" He asks.

"Stay here?" I ask him and he nods. He leans over and kisses my forehead before I get out of the jeep.

I could not express how much of a comfort my friends were to me right now. I was going through hell but I knew I wasn't alone. I smile at him. 

I walk up to the house and find Rafe on the couch. He looks panicked as hell. "Ev where were you?" He asks as he stands up.

I barely move when I lean against the wall. "What's wrong?" He asks me when he notices how numb I am being.

"Where were you?" He asks me. "John B's." I answer softly and he rolls his eyes. He shakes his head in disbelief. It actually has started to amuse me, the way he lies and keeps things from me.

"Were you with someone else at Barry's?" I ask him and watch his face change. He drops his mouth open and looks extremely surprised.

"I know something happened. Can you just be honest with me?" I ask him calmly.

"Ev, I was coked out of my fucking mind. I have no idea what I did- I don't." Rafe tells me. He sounds flustered and panicked.

"Did you sleep with someone else?" I ask. "I don't fucking know." He tells me.

"Ev you have to understand, I was losing my mind over what went down with Ward I- I almost had a fucking OD Ev." He tells me and I shake my head.

"So you're not saying no?" I ask him, my voice breaking a little. "I'm saying I don't fucking remember." He tells me.

"So if JJ remembers seeing you and you don't remember it - then it means it happened." I tell him trying to process this.

"I can't believe you're taking JJ's fucking word for something like this." He says. "Why would he lie?" I ask him.

"Why would be lie? Why would he lie? Don't be fucking stupid. He would lie because he fucking hates me and ruined my life that night. He would lie because he's trying to take everything I fucking have-" Rafe begins yelling and I shake my head.

"But Rafe. You got with someone else, while I was out there looking for you, scared out my mind-" I begin.

"Look Ev, I was too coked out, it doesn't count." He says and I look at him in disbelief.

"It doesn't count?" I repeat and he nods. "Ev, I have been living a fucking nightmare." He begins, his constant self pity was disgusting me at this point.

"Rafe you slept with someone else-" I say and he cuts me off. "I was provoked-" He begins. "Look can we please just forget this-" He starts and I cut him off.

"Forget this? Rafe do you realize what you've done?" I ask him. I couldn't really cope up with him right now. He had done the wrong thing but actually expected me to cancel it out because he was going through a tough time?

"Look I'm sorry. I just need you I-" He begins taking a step towards. "Stop." I say. "Just- just tell me how to fix it." He says.

"I can't do this with you anymore." I say to him. He looks at me for a second and nods.