malboro reds and raspberry peace tea

a sub-par introduction

Is it possible for one girl to have a coming of age story when she has no friends to act as her guides or gateways? That is the question I've been asking myself lately.

I've recently moved out of my mom's house and into this relatively cheap apartment with an old "girlfriend" (I use the term girlfriend here generously) on the opposite side of town. And this move has gotten me thinking about those certain experiences that everyone seems to have in their teens or twenties. Falling in and out of love – maybe multiple times. Making mistakes – probably multiple. Meeting new people, making new memories, trying new things. I sit here on the couch of my apartment and think about these experiences, and how I've never really had any of them because I've always isolated myself in my room and rejected any invitation of a possibility of adventure.

Well, this is my attempt to change that.

I'm not saying that this isolation will magically end because I will it to. Isolation comes with the territory of not knowing anyone in this city, as well as living with mental illness. That isolation can even be beneficial at times. I recognize this. This is mainly my attempt to break out of my self-constructed shell.

The noticeable keyword here being attempt.

So here we go. Introductions. My name, for all intents and purposes, is Isadora Michelle Knight. I am twenty-two years old, and I am a sad excuse for a human being. I also have a tendency to be blunt and self-derogatory, so. You know. Brace yourself.

I'm sapphic, sarcastic, and naïve to a fucking fault. I've never been in love, I've never kissed a girl and – yes, you've probably guessed it – still a virgin. Basically, to put it simply, I am so completely touch starved that I've started wrapping my arms around myself when I sleep just so I can pretend I'm with someone. Pathetic, I know, but I'm trying to be honest here.

Anyway, this is day one of attempting to find myself, I guess. Wish me luck.