I Can't Change [Baekyeol]

Glass-Half-Full

"It just seems so surreal, you know?" Baekhyun sighed wistfully, collapsing face first on his bed.

Chanyeol perked up from a similar position on his own bed across the room. "What does?"

His mop of brown hair was disheveled and still a bit damp from his recent shower. He looked a little dazed, and Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh at his expression. He was tired, of course. They all were. Everyone was exhausted beyond belief as a result of the past few years of their lives, and mere hours ago, they had each received promise of more to come. "What do you mean, doofus?" He asked incredulously, rolling onto his back and lifting his head to stare at the other boy. "Debuting, of course. What else would I be talking about...?"

"Oh. Right," Chanyeol sank back into the mattress, lifting both hands to rub at his eyes sleepily. "Give me a break Baekhyun, I'm sleep deprived."

Baekhyun smiled to himself, jumping into a sitting position. He stretched one leg across the short distance between their beds, poking the other's long leg with a sock-covered foot. "How can you even think about sleeping right now?" He inquired, eyes wide and alert despite his tired, aching muscles. "We're debuting, Chanyeol. Debuting. This is what we've always dreamed about. I doubt I'll be able to close my eyes at all tonight."

His best friend's silence was a bit disappointing. "Chanyeol?" He called out, lightly kicking the unresponsive boy a second time.

When he still refused to acknowledge Baekhyun's attempts, the latter grabbed a pillow and lobbed it carefully at his face. It landed with a muffled thump and a sudden cry from Chanyeol, and the disgruntled boy sat up with a huff of annoyance. He pouted, and the only thing his squinting, lost eyes managed to do was make him look cranky and confused. "Please don't fall asleep yet," Baekhyun pleaded, getting to his feet and sitting next to Chanyeol on the other's bed. "I want to talk."

Chanyeol breathed deeply, arching his back and stretching his arms above his head before letting them fall limply at his sides. "Alright then. Let's talk."

Baekhyun chewed on his lower lip, a nervous habit he had developed early on as a trainee. His mind was racing with a million unanswered questions about what his future would hold, and although he doubted Chanyeol would have any of the answers he sought, he wanted desperately to get all the exciting and equally terrifying thoughts off his chest. "It just seems like everything's happening too fast for me," he confessed, running his socks against the hardwood floor at his feet. "I mean, I haven't even been training for a year. And now, I'm about to be thrown into the the music industry with eleven other people, bypassing the trainees who've worked just as hard, if not harder, to be where I am right now. I just can't help but feel like I'm a bit lacking, compared to the other members, who have been training for some five or six years--" he paused momentarily, glancing hesitantly at his friend, silently praying that no lines had been crossed. "I... I'm sorry. I know you've been here a lot longer than I have. My worries must seem so insignificant to you, knowing that I've only had to endure less than a quarter of what you've been through."

Chanyeol shook his head, frowning. "I don't give a shit about that, Baek, honestly. I don't resent you just because you're relatively new to the whole training scene. Sure, the last four years have been pretty hard. But this is what I want to do with my life, so I'm really just happy it's all falling into place."

"I know, I know. And don't get me wrong, I'm just as grateful for this kind of opportunity as you are. This is my childhood dream, finally playing out the way I always wanted it to, after all. But it all seems a bit to good to be true. What if I'm not as good as the rest of you? What if I can't keep up with everyone else, because they've been preparing for so much longer than I have?" Baekhyun lifted a hand to his head, closing his eyes. "Oh God, just listen to me. I must sound so pathetic to you right now..."