Destined By Fate

Chapter 11- First Kiss

Kendall's POV

Here I am kissing Anthony and when I say it's amazing...it's AMAZING!! Never have I ever felt this way. Even with Jordan. This is hot and passionate. My heart is beating wildly in my chest and my stomach is doing somersaults. Not to mention what it's doing to my loins. It's so hot in here! He takes his tongue and licks my bottom lip asking for entrance which I grant. He deepens the kiss and I have to stop him long enough to take a breath.

"I am so sorry. I got carried away... I just really like you..." he stutters out.

"It's ok Anthony. I mean I kissed you back. And I would be lying if I said I didn't like it." I say as I blush and he just smirks.

He leans in to kiss me again but I have to stop it this time. I put my hand up and place it on his chest.

"However...I still have a boyfriend Anthony. Remember Jordan? And I have to figure all of this out. I have feelings for you but I have feelings for Jordan still too. I can't just brush that aside. I have been with him for a year." I explain.

He goes back to the scowl on his face that I grew so used to seeing when I first met him. He is pouting. Aww...it's cute. But I don't let him see me smile.

"If only things were different and...nevermind." He says under his breath.

I look at him confused for a moment.

"I gotta go." He says quickly.

"Ok. Thanks for this evening." I tell him.

"Yeah whatever." He says as I get out.

I look back at him hurt, but I see the same hurt in his eyes. He quickly looks away and backs out of the driveway hurriedly and speeds off down the road. Ugh. Well I did manage to hurt 2 guys tonight. Two guys I care about. What am I going to do?? I walk inside and my mom is watching tv on the couch.

"Oh hi, honey how was your date?" She asks.

"I am so confused mom. I like Jordan a lot. He even told me he loved me earlier!" I start to tell her.

"He what?!!!" She interrupts me.

"Woah mom hold on. I didn't say it back because I don't know if I have those strong of feelings for him. I care about him deeply I really do. But I don't know if I love him. Then I go out on this date with Anthony and I am starting to have feelings for him too. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone and I hate feeling so torn." I tell her honestly.

"Look honey, I know exactly what you are saying. But you have to stop worrying about hurting someone. You need to really think about your feelings and you should only pursue things with the guy that means something to you in the sense that you can't imagine not being with them. That you feel your heart break at the thought of never seeing them again. That's love. And until you know that feeling than just have fun and explore things with both guys. But I think you should be honest with Jordan and tell him you are talking to someone else. It's only fair." She says.

She is right. No matter what I need to be honest. It's eating away at me.

I go upstairs and call Jordan and tell him everything. It was so hard. A lot of shed tears between us and him being really mad. I told him he could date other people as well but he was not ok with that. We basically ended the phone call not on a good note. But I at least feel relieved that I came clean. After I get off the phone with Jordan, I decide to get ready for bed as my exhaustion from tonight and this week is catching up to me. I am laying in bed watching a movie on Netflix trying to relax until I fall asleep, when a ding from my phone indicating that I have a text message gets my attention. I grab my phone and read the text.

I am sorry for being an asshole. I knew you were with Jordan before going on this date. I wasn't fair to you. But it's hard for me. The more I am around you, the more I like you and I feel sorta jealous I guess. But anyway I will leave you alone so you can be with Jordan. See you around.
-Anthony

I think for a few moments before I begin to text him back.

Anthony. I really like you. And I just talked to Jordan when I got home this evening and I told him everything. Well other than the fact that we kissed,
but I feel better telling him. I still want to get to know you and even go out more if you want to. I just need to explore my feelings a bit to see who I really want to be with. Just give me a little time. Please.

I wait for him to respond. After a couple of minutes my phone dings again.

That's fair. See you Monday at school. 😉

That silly little text and emoji makes my heart flutter. Why do I feel this way with him? It's just different. I quickly text him goodnight and I fall asleep thinking about Anthony and Jordan. How will I ever figure this out??