Never The Same

Story 5: Pushed Too Far

Story 5: Pushed Too Far

Hi my name is Abby.

This is my story.

 I was a perfect, happy, giggly, funny kid. It started in Elementary School. 1st grade I had a best friend. We did everything together. She was sweet, popular, kind, and just awesome. I loved being her friend. Since she was popular, I was too.

 After that, I noticed I was getting heavier and she was thin, She started ignoring me in 2nd grade, One day I confronted her about it and she pulled me over and said,” Listen, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. You’re ugly, fat, and worthless and you don’t matter so go away loser. I never liked you and never will!!” That hurt me. I came to school the next day and I confronted her about it but instead she didn’t respond a few popular boys pushed me to the floor and said, “Listen she doesn’t like you so go get out of her and our lives. You’re a mistake. Just go away just notice nobody likes you!” I got up and cried. I hid in the bathroom all day.

 When I got home, I picked up a razor and started cutting my wrist. I swore I would never do that again. I kept putting up with the bullies until 3rd grade. I started cutting again and it became addictive. I attempted suicide 3 times that year. I tried choking myself, drowning myself and overdosing. I couldn’t take it. I slit my wrist more and more. I almost hit a vain.

 4th grade, I was starving myself because I was called fat. I was diagnosed with Anorexia and weighed 45 pounds in 4th grade. I almost died. Kids told me to choke myself. Finally I didn’t let it get to me. I got my metabolism up again. 5th grade, Kids called me a mistake, worthless, fat, dumb, annoying, and I cut again and again.

 On the last day of school, I was shoved into a trash can.

 I attempted suicide more and more.

 6th Grade, I was going into middle school, it was a new year, new friends, new lives. I ignored all the bad past. I made new friends. They were popular. I was in their group and felt happy. Little did I know they were using me a joke. They back stabbed me and started hate groups; I got a swirly in the bathroom stall as well. They had a hate wall dedicated to me in the bathroom stall, I was told to kill myself because I’m unloved and unwanted, I had no friends, nobody, Nobody to lean on, nobody to be by.

 I had to fend for myself. I got poor grades, poor sleep, poor appetite; I refused to go to school.

 7th grade, it got worse. I cried myself to sleep every night, trying to kill myself, having my parents walk in on me trying to kill myself. I cried so much. I had to switch schools. I got beat up, let down, stepped on, backstabbed, choked up, knocked out, pushed around, I just wanted to end it.

8th grade, I switched schools. There was a rumor going around saying something stupid so I got yelled at and it started again. I cut. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, bulimia, panic disorder, etc. I cut so much and attempted for the last time I overdosed on 30 Advil & passed out. I woke up in a psych ward. I am getting therapy and help now. I still cut but not as much but my story shows how messed up the society is. Now I have friends, I inspire others and I wake up with a smile on my face knowing I am loved and still alive on this planet and I will not end my life over anybody. I am glad they did it to me because it made me who I am today. Just because I had a negative past, I am not going to have a negative future.

 ~Abby