Modern Darling

10

Tabitha and Andrew lay in her bed together. Tabitha and Andrew had finished having sex for the second time exactly four minutes and thirteen seconds ago. Tabitha was rocked with insecurity. Andrew's head felt empty.

She got up to pee, and splashed some water on her face. She wondered just for a split second if Eric had heard them. If he now would be haunted with the sound of his neighbours' moans. That made her smile. She hadn't had sex in two years. She wondered for a moment if she looked any different. Then she mentally cursed at herself and returned to her bed where Andrew lay.

She got in and pulled the covers over her chest. Andrew did little to acknowledge her presence but he was still lying there and neither of them knew what that meant.

"So um have you ever been in love before?" Tabitha was unsure when this had become her chosen ice breaker question, but it certainly had. Ander tapped his fingers over his stomach, the right side of his mouth twitching up into a smile.

"Five times. Three women, two men."

Tabitha hadn't known Andrew's sexuality previously, but she appreciated his answer. She pondered momentarily what the differences would be between falling in love with a man or a woman. Her head was filled with questions.

"Do you smoke?" She settled on. "I want to light a joint, but I won't if you don't want any."

"Ah the classic, sex was so good you need a smoke trope."

"You'll come to know I'm a big fan of tropes." Tabitha grinned, going to grab her tin from the kitchen.

Tabitha pulled her supplies out and sat on the edge of the bed. She grinded some lavender and mugwort up and blended them together with a makeup brush.

"So who was the first?" She asked him.

"His name was Jackson. He was my best friend in middle school. We were on the baseball team together."

"Sounds dreamy," Tabitha smiled trying to picture a tiny Andy in a little league uniform.

"Oh he was. We kissed at a sleepover. He put a finger to his lips and said "Shh. I think I love you but I don't know if that's bad." That was my first kiss." Andrew sat up in the bed grabbing his boxers from off the floor and slipping them back on.

"My first kiss was truth or dare." I offered licking the paper and rub it between my thumbs.

"Classic,"

"Agreed." Tabitha pulled out her lighter and cracked open her window. It was intimate sharing this moment with another human being. The air still felt comfortable between them somehow.

"And who was the biggest heartbreak?" Tabitha took a deep exhale and passed the joint to Andrew.

"Miranda. We dated all of highschool, to this day my longest relationship. Shockingly, we only lasted three weeks long - distance."

"That is surprising. For such a long relationship." Andrew shrugs, we both watch the street lights change.

"I think it was one of those things where we were in such a small circle. We knew we had each other's backs. It was easy, comfortable. People recognized us as Andrew and Miranda." He paused. Tabitha couldn't be sure if it had been for dramatic effect or-

"I loved her though. I loved her. She was who I lost my virginity to." He passed the joint back to Tabitha, who flicked the ashes out onto the street. They fade out all at once.

"They say you'd forgive your first love anything you know." Tabitha responds slowly, her eyes becoming heavy. Andrew let out a dark laugh.

"I think that's what they say instead of just admitting that after the first one you're scared you'll never be able to feel it again."