I ain't go
Heart beated loud like a stereo
Jeans and hoodie was cute and ready
But then mind took over as does, you know?
No nerves were felt for miles today
But still overthinking had it's way
With my body
Under its command constantly
Like the hat on the hook in my bedroom
I sat and imagined the day I could have if I chose to
Yellow fabric, brim painted too
One of these days I'll be in control of what I do
Enjoy life, they say
Don't think too hard, let wind lead the way
You'll regret not doing, you'll always look back
And wonder
But this time, when I sent that text,
'maybe another day?'
I physically felt my life and desires separate
When will this girl cooperate, and let me live?
Never thought I'd want life
Never thought I'd be less terrified
Of it
Never thought life might see me how I see it
So when it did, my self began to panic
Instead of believing the good things I know to be true
I allowed those anxieties that were long overdue
Subdue my subconscious
I didn't even know it had happened until it did
As far as the dinner he made
I hope he didn't do too much
My heart couldn't take knowing mine wasn't the only
Heart that could bust
