Wayward Heart [State U Series 1]

1

"I promise my self not to love impulsively... and what I mean by "Impulsively" ... falling in-love at first sight. I know that loving people because of their good looks doesn't really end well, just like my previous relationship.

However, who am I to judge those people who fall for looks? So, I won't judge myself falling for him. Ironically, it was me who easily get captured by pretty faces." 


Tama! Hindi dapat tayo na huhulog dahil gwapo o maganda!  Pagsang-ayon ko sa babaeng nasa harapan ko ngayon.

Ang galing talagang magrecite nitong si Ariya, may pagka maldita nga lang. On-going ang klase namin sa Literature pero yung cellphone ko patuloy din nag va-vibrate dahil alam kong nag u-update si Che sa akin, pero dahil ako ang susunod na magsasalita, abot hangga langit ang aking kaba. Hindi kasi ako fan ng public speaking, pero pwede naman ako ilaban sa paunting English lang. 

Paulit-ulit kong binabasa ang aking sinulat kahapon... tungkol ito sa pag-ibig dahil yon ang sabi ng aming professor. 

"And because of that... I swear to love by character and not looks. Thank you." pagtatapos ni Ariya sa kanyang piece. Heto na po, jusko ako na... nag sign of the cross muna ako dahil halos puso ko nalang ang aking marining... Help me papa God! 

"Tabitha! Sa harap, now..." sigaw ni Professor Xavier, 

"Ay kalbo!" gulat kong sabi, biglang nagtawanan ang aking mga kaklase.

"May problema kaba sa kalbo miss Florence." tanong ni Sir, na nakataas pa ang kanyan kanang kilay.

"Ho?? Wala po sir, binigla niyo naman kasi ako, kausap ko pa si papa God eh." pagpaliwanag ko, Tumayo ako at dahan-dahang naglalakad papunta sa podium, huminga ako ng malalim at kinalma ang aking sarili. Tinanda ko rin ang sabi ni Nanay, kapag nagsalita ako sa harap ng maraming tao, tingin raw ako sa ceiling o kaya sa noo para daw di ko makita reaction nila. 

"Aftie mga classmate and sir" simula ko at ngumiti ng onti "Ang title ng aking piece is Confusions"

"I learn the word of love when I was four."  Marahas na hangin ang aking inilabas at pilit na kinakalma ang aking sarili bago magsimulag muli.
"They say it was such a beautiful thing to feel and share love. The first time I got confused about it, was when my pre-school teacher said that a family should be filled with love... as she gave example what love should be, my mind was at home thinking what kind of love do I receive. I thought that love is interrelated to punches, screams, avoidance, liquor and ignorance. To be honest, I was bitten by my drunk father on a daily basis... my mom didn't listen to my cries... those days, all I can hear was their argument, and though that was love to me when I was young, I was still happy because I have them. I have parents that love me in their own little ways" 

I took a deep breath, not letting my tears fall.

"Love crumbles to my mind  when my parents decided to have a divorce, I was 14 years old that time... and I know our lovely family was falling apart. I witness my parents move on with their own lives without me. My mom was being held by other man, while my dad was in his best suit to court another woman. One day they decided that we should go on a trip, I was delighted by that news... I was expecting that their love will be rekindled and that they remember that it was my birthday. But I was wrong... I was brought to a small house with a beautiful garden, a slender lady wearing a pure white dress was waiting for me... she was my Aunt Elle. That day... I know I was being abandoned by my so called parents." I stop for a while and look at my classmate, Yes, I can see pity in their faces, but I gave them a faint smile... nagpatuloy ako sa pagsasalita

"It took me 4 years to learn another form of love. This kind of love is different from what I know... it has no violence nor screams... it was a kind of love that is attentive, warm, unconditional, and selfless. She believes that love is kind, love is not envy or boast, not arrogant or rude, it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Yes, she loves that Bible verse, she was the embodiment of love. However, it was still hard for me to know what love means, because I believe it has many shapes and meaning... I am still confuse about it, but I'm glad I had two different kind of love, it was worse and best." 

Malakas na palakpakan ang aking narining. 

"Wow... that was not an easy thing to share Miss Florence." malumanay na sabi ni sir

"Heheh! Doon lang po tayo sa true Sir!" pabiro kong sabi, when I got on my seat, nag dismiss na rin si sir pero bago iyon, pipili raw siya sa mga gawa namin paraLiterature week. 

"Ang ganda ng gawa mo Tabi." puri ni Jennylyn, siya lang naman ang mabait kong kaklase at president sa block namin... iyakin nga lang to pag di nakikinig mga kaklase namin. 

"Salamat Jen, ang ganda rin ng kwento niyong mag jowa mo. Nakaka-kilig kayo." I smiled at her and I saw her blush. 

I checked my phone na kanina pa nagva-vibrate

From: Cherry 

Tabi kita tayo 

Go here nlng sa room namin

C u latur

buy mo narin me drinks 

so boring T.T

So many magaganda dito 

focus na me here XOXO



Napailing na lang ako sa mga nabasa ko, pero dahil mabait akong kaibigan, dumaan ako sa malapit na cafe dito university. 

"Isang Ice coffee po kuya" order ko, inilibas ko agad ang aking wallet, saktong 120 pesos ang laman nito, iniabot ko ito sa carshier "here po." 

"Sorry miss, pero 150 na po ang Ice coffee dahil po sa inflation, di pa lang po namin napalitan ang menu board." pagpapaliwanag nito at napakamot ako ng ulo. 

"Sige po... wait lang po ha... hahalangkutin ko po muna bag ko." Shocks! Ipapabayad ko talaga to kay Che. Patuloy ako sa paghalungkat pero wala akong makita. 

"I'll pay for her drink.. She's holding up the line" Napalingon ako sa lalaking nasa likuran ko, ang sungit ng pagkasabi niya at hindi ko gusto ang tono niya. I compose myself and clear my throat to get his attention. 

Tikbalang ba ito, bat ang tangkad naman niya.

"Exuse me..." I put my hand to my chest at tinaasan siya ng isang kilay "Sinabi kobang bayaran mo?" He just looked at me na parang isang babaeng baliw, he pointed at the queue, shit ang haba nga ng pila.

 "Thank you sa 30 pesos kung ganon." I fake a smile and took the ice coffee, nagmadali akong lumabas sa cafe. 

To: Cherry

MAY UTANG KA SA AKIN!


May utang din akong 30 pesos sa isang tikbalang.