Tales from Nowo's 24 Hour DJ Diner: Project Arrhythmia and Just Shapes and Beats

Ch. 4: The Pen Thieves

Recording By: Siley Cirtri

(Art is not mine. Also, swear warning.) 

Hey.

It's me, Siley. 

My story in a nutshell is essentially how my friends can get pretty crazy when given the opportunity. 

That "Lost Evil" series someone made about how I met them gives some pretty good examples of them and me at our worst, but this one tells of them at their best. It actually still gives me a few laughs. 

Well, I suppose you and Celestia want details. I'll give you them, I just have to start from the beginning. 

I first heard that Nowo now had a diner when Chatterbox queried we go check out the place on Thursday. We all now work as storage guys for Theory, that brainy-a$$ science dude, but we have Thursday off, so. 

Loony, as usual, laughed with his weird, high-pitched British accent. "You bugger! We got every Thursday off to do whatever the f*-k we want and this time you ask to head to a bloody diner??"

Chatterbox shrugged, his voice crackled electronically. "So? Nowo's the guy running it along with his sister, and stars knows he was one of the first suckers to spar with Hal. Guess I wondered if his cookin's is as good as his fightin'."

"They got events, too," Came the not-so-surprisingly deep voice of Nipper. "Thursday's Comedy Night, if I remember correctly." 

"Comedy Night?! Now I'm in, mate!" Loony stepped back to backflip off the wall in his excitement. "Can we heckle the guest star? Ooh, I wanna do that!" 

I put my foot down firmly. "We are not going to heckle anybody until I say we can. You remember who's the head of the Four Madmen Gang."

Loony slumped. "Aww, c'mon, mate..." 

I growled, "Loony?"

"Argh, fine. Now that Hal's back in control it would get us in trouble again anyway." 

Nipper placed a big hand on Loony's shoulder. "It's alright, pal, maybe a few one liners would do the trick."

"Only a FEW, that is," Chatterbox thought aloud, but Loony said, "No, wait. I got something better, fellas." But he didn't tell us what it was. 

So Thursday rolls around, right? We head for the diner, across the way from that park east and downtown. Nice atmosphere, gray floor, pastel color walls, nice dim lights. Loony suggested we take a table near the door, so we do, having no idea what this was about. 

Lumi came up to take the order, I ordered a few spicy bbq wings to share with the rest of the gang. Loony ordered a soda, as did Nipper. Chatterbox asked Lumi to send his regards to Nowo, which she did. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Loony asked to borrow a pen, even though I already had one. "For the check later," he said. 

"Sure thing!" And she gave him the pen, and walked away to make our order. 

Apparently, the diner serves everyone, because the next person who walked in through the door was Electro, a very grumpy green cyborg hexagon with multiple eyes who was used as a pawn in the former god Step's plans. Loony asked him over for a pen, claiming he'd lost the other one. Electro gave him another pen, then promptly sat as far away from everyone else in the diner as possible. 

As more and more people came in, we got wind of Loony's plan. On the next group, Chatterbox was the one who asked for the pen, and another was given, to the sniggering of my edgy nut bag crew. 

The order comes in, and man, those wings were good! We all agree to get take out from this place when we came back into work on Friday. 

Nipper got up from the table, and headed over to Nowo's counter and in a small, mournful voice, ever so politely asked him for another pen. "Lost the one Lumi gave you guys already, huh?" And so, yet another pen. 

There was now ten or eleven pens hidden at our table, and Loony was trying so hard not to disturb anyone with his laughter, or to fall off the cube that served as his seat, for that matter. 

My pal Blixer from Paradise walks in, most likely to try out the place at Celestia's urging (I could tell that was you, Celestia!) and I decided to let him in on the fun. 

"Hey, Blixer?" I called him over. 

"Hmm?"

Nipper and Loony's mouths dropped open as I grin at Blixer. "I suppose you wouldn't mind grabbing a pen that we so desperately need for me and my boys?" And I revealed the stash. 

Loony let out a victorious hoot. "THERE ya bloody GO, mah MATE!" 

"All-RIGHTY then!" Nipper cheered. 

"That's the spirit!" came from Chatterbox's direction. 

Blixer immediately gained his New Game grin and started chuckling. "Sure. I'll see what I can do!"

By the start of comedy hour, courtesy of Blixer, we had stashed over fifty pens, and counting.  

The comedian, if I remember correctly, was DXL. His stories where pretty good, and the punchlines were fantastic.  But when he started interacting with the audience, I knew we were in trouble. He came up to say hello, but when we said hello back, he checked under the table and said to the entire diner (he had a microphone), "What's this, a stash of pens?"

We looked at each other with panic, then shrugged. It was too late, we had been found out. Blixer came up with another handful and said, "Guess I came up too late, huh?"

DXL snatched the pens Blixer had, put them in with the rest, and began counting them. The longer he counted, Loony began laughing hysterically. Nipper and Chatterbox high-fived. Blixer and I watched the proceedings proudly. And a few minutes later, the entire crowd was counting along with us, gaping in shock.  

"A hundred sixty-six, a hundred sixty-seven, a hundred sixty eight-"

"ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE MOTHERF*-KING PENS!!!"  Loony shouted triumphantly, before finally falling of his seat laughing hysterically. 

"And the punchline?" I said to the crowd. I pulled out my own red pen while Nowo came up to me, grinning from ear to ear. "I had one the entire time we were here!"

Regardless to the edgier others in the audience who were, without a doubt, livid that we had cheated them of their pens, the rest of the crowd erupted into laughter and applause. Chatterbox got Loony to his feet, and all five of us: DXL, me, Blixer, Nipper, Chatterbox, and Loony, stood in a line, held hands and took a bow. 

And to the final cheers of the crowd, Nipper, Chatterbox and Loony left the pens on the table and headed back to the van, while with a flourish, I used my single pen to sign the check. 

Whoof! Man, that was a sh*t-ton-of-fun night! Even a few weeks later, I still have me a chuckle every now and then, thinking about it. 

...

And Celestia's collapsed with laughter listening to me in her podcast booth. Geez, that star's as crazy as the lot of us! Guess I should help her stand back up. 

Siley Cirtri of the Four Madmen Gang, over and out. 

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PS. Could this incident count as Loony's equivalent of Rocket Racoon from Guardians of the Galaxy asking for cyborg ap-PEN-dages? LMFAOOO XDDD!

What do you guys think so far? Please let me know in the comments, and feel free to propose some story ideas as well! Kes-Sparrowhawk, over and out!