Prologue

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November 1811

My darling Lou,

I cannot disclose where I am but please know that I think about you all the time and the last time we spoke. Please write to me, you can send letters to my regiment, and they will find me. This is just a short note I know; I will spend the next few days or weeks writing something more substantial, but I didn't wish to leave you without word for too long.

Forever yours,

George.

December 1812

Dearest George,

It has taken several months for me to find out how to contact you, I had to bribe your butler to tell me where you'd gone! Was it all so very secret you couldn't tell me you were going before you left? I had quite the scare, thinking you'd just disappeared. There is something I must tell you George. I am with child. I am so anxious to see you again, hopefully soon. I know you must be finding this terribly difficult to read, and I wasn't sure whether you'd have any close friends in your regiment who would read this for you, so I attach a few sketches that will hopefully convey my news and my love.

With all my love,

Lou.

March 1812

Darling Lou,

I hope you can forgive my slowness in writing to you, I'm trying so hard to concentrate on my words and looking at the letters all jumbled up by candlelight is no mean feat. I have the help of a fellow soldier, Martins, sometimes, with whom I share a patrol shift, who helps me on particularly tricky words, like particularly for example, but I do not wish for him to read everything I say to you.

Oh Lou, how I miss you so. I wish you were here in my arms now. I am writing this separately of course; Martins won't read over this part. It's so hard trying to convey everything I feel about you in short words but I'm trying my best. I know you'll forgive me on this; it's such a comfort knowing that you understand me. I hope to hear from you soon. I miss your voice. I miss your touch. I miss your soul.

Yours forever and always,

George.

April 1812

Dear, dear George,

I miss you so much! I wish I could see you soon. I wish you were here with me. The babe is growing and feels healthy enough, my mother has been attending me and says as much. I wish you were here to feel her (I'm sure it's a girl!) dancing inside me. Once again, I attach some sketches. It feels rather strange to stand in front of a mirror and draw myself, but I do want to document our baby's growth, so you don't feel you're missing too much. Come home to me soon my love. I need you here.

Yours always,

Lou.

June 1812

Darling George,

You are a father! I told you she would be a girl and I was right. She is beautiful, I am so in love with her. I wish you could be here now to hold her in your arms. That's what I see every time I close my eyes. As soon as I was well enough to draw, I began doing some sketches for you. Can you see her little button nose? Isn't she wonderful? Oh, there she is crying now. I shall go and feed her and tell her all about you and how much I love you, and then when you return, she will love you just as much.

Come back to me, come back to her.

I love you,

Lou.


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