When Paths Cross Again (Prof./Student)

Chapter 1 - Something to let go

There was this old saying...how did it go again? Ah, yes!

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be." 

But couldn't you only let go of something that belonged, at least for a certain amount of time, to you? Something needs to be yours for you to make the decision and let go of it, right? And when it doesn't, what's then? Will you be stuck forever with your love for that something? Or does this mean that you should let go of it, but this time with the realisation that there's no chance that this something will come back to you? Because it was never with you in the first place.

And what if you can't let go? It seems so simple, let go and let the magic happen. But sometimes it's the love that functions as a chain and actually prevents you from letting go, even if you would wish that you could leave. Sometimes you want to let go of something but can't because you love it. 

That was at least what I was feeling when it came to my family. I loved them, I really did. But they were slowly but surely draining my energy. Not one minute of my day was there not a thought about them or what I had to do for them or what I had to remind them of in my head. They were constantly around, taking up the space that I had used to call my life. Now it was theirs. At least the majority of my time, it was functioning for them. I was living for them, which was alright in a way..because I loved them and cared for them but...it was also leaving me with responsibilities I had not signed up for. 

One of the best examples was currently playing on the playground while I sat on one of the benches, that was normally used by the children's mothers, and tried to get at least some of the work, that I had to do for uni, done. 

However, a quick glance towards my watch, made me sigh agitated. 

"Jamie! Come here please, we need to go", I shouted and hoped that the little boy would listen to me for once while I picked up my stuff. 

Grabbing his small hand, I pulled him with me and into my car, making my way to my sister's house. All the while driving, my eyes wandered to the clock every five minutes and once again, it seemed to fly by. Gosh, why today?!

I was already late by one minute for one of my classes as I ringed on my sister's door like crazy, praying that she was not asleep again. It seemed like half an eternity had passed as the door was being opened slowly and I looked into her tired eyes that eyed me as if I was the crazy person here, knocking on people's doors to bring them a child. 

However, I had no nerves to talk with her and definitely no time. So, I quickly maneuvered Jamie into the house, ready to turn around again and run to my car.

"Okay I gotta go, running late!", I shouted in her direction but quickly stopped as she answered:

"Can you pick him up an hour earlier tomorrow? I have something I need to deal with."

Something or somebody?

I bit my tongue to keep the words from slipping out of my mouth and just nodded with a tense expression before I really started to sprint to my car and backed off.

Great, one hour less time for all of the other tasks I would need to get done. One hour I didn't have. 

Oh how I loved the stress..all on my small shoulders trying to weightening me down. Sometimes I really wished that there would have been a third sister or a brother or somebody so that I wouldn't have to be totally on my own with all of this work. But I guess, that was simply my destiny. 

Still, I couldn't help but wish...

I wanted to have something to let go, because that would mean that I would have something that I loved.