moving day | Heeseung x Jay

twenty-nine

Ѱ

"You're up early," Jay had said as each speck of sand dug into the skin between his toes. The sand of the beach hugged the pads of his feet as he'd sunk into it.

Jungwon, who had been walking next to him in sweatpants and a tank, shifted his eyes from the ground to meet Jay's. "I couldn't sleep."

Jay nodded in understanding. Jungwon's insomnia was widely known among their friend group, but Jay never thought that he'd ever see Jungwon during his late nights—or, well, early mornings—out because, in his own words, "it is too early for that shit."

"Me either, actually," Jay had responded. "You excited to compete?"

Jungwon's final test of his freediving competition was that day. If it were Jay, he would have been sleeping soundly in bed and resting up, but there they were: On a beach at five in the morning, the sky barely starting to light up as they walked along a path of sand that seemed limitless.

"It'd make more sense if you asked me if I was ready," Jungwon had replied, but he had an easy-going expression on his face. "I don't know. I try not to think too much on the day of my tests. If I do, then thinking will turn to overthinking, and then I'll get overwhelmed and stress myself out for no reason, which is pointless, so yea. I don't really know."

"That makes sense." Jay had dragged his toes to create ragged lines in the grain. "We're all rooting for you. Me, Jake, Niki, Sunoo, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Especially Sunghoon."

Jungwon had slowed his pace down, and Jay replicated him.

"I was wondering, actually..." Jay had said while the sky got lighter with every step, "How you guys got together? Nobody ever asked questions because I feel like it happened so naturally, but we all wanted to know."

Jungwon bobbed his head to music Jay couldn't hear, most likely a song stuck in his head, and sighed. "It kind of just... happened? Nothing immediate or anything. There weren't instantaneous sparks of attraction, and he didn't light up like a beacon or whatever. We just hung out a lot, so much that when we were without each other, it felt strange; it felt like being apart wasn't normal, like it wasn't supposed to happen."

"But," Jay had chewed the inside of his cheek. "Isn't that just proximity? What about the general comfort in knowing that you're friends and that's just how you are. How'd you know it was more than that?"

Jungwon had stopped walking and studied him. Jay hadn't shrunk under his gaze, instead, holding it steadily as the sun had started to rise out of his peripheral, bathing the sky in orange.

"I didn't really envision myself in a relationship when I first came for the freediving competition. I'm sure some people who do things like this expect something magical to happen to them, like finding love, but I really did just come for the sport." Jungwon's eye bags had seemed less apparent, and his eyes looked bright in the angle of the sun. "When my relationship with Sunghoon started picking up, it felt right—like this was how it was supposed to happen. I wasn't thinking too much because I didn't need or see the point in over-analyzing everything we said or did. It just... clicked."

"Oh." Jay had looked down at his feet and watched sand dig up around his ankles.

"So," Jungwon had begun as they started walking again, "you're a single man, now, huh?"

Jay sighed, loud enough for Jungwon to pat him on the back. "Yea, I am. Got senior year all to myself now."

"But two years with Mila. That's a pretty long time for a first relationship. I'm impressed."

"Don't be," Jay had replied. "It's not impressive because when it's with the right person, it'll feel like time is flying by."

Jungwon had stopped again, this time his mouth pursed in determination. "It'll?"

Jay blinked. "It'll...?"

"You said it'll. That's a contraction. It will? Are you saying it went slowly?"

Jay, again, didn't look away from Jungwon's stare, but this time he felt a burn of shame—like he'd been caught or something. It crept up his neck and into his conscience. He saw it emblazoned in large, fine print in his mind: GUILTY.

"It didn't go slow, I guess." Jay flicked hair out of his eyes. "But not fast either."

Jungwon had considered this. "Did you enjoy being a kid? Like, did you have a good childhood?"

"Yea, I loved it," Jay answered, puzzled, as he remembered bike rides and popsicles and endless days. "It felt like it had just started when it was ending. Why?"

"Well, Sunghoon mentioned that he did everything with you and Heeseung as kids." Jungwon checked his phone for the time. "It's just interesting to me. When I came for the summer, I asked Sunghoon if you and Heeseung were dating because I hadn't been sure."

Jay's breath had caught, audibly, but Jungwon, blessedly, hadn't acknowledged it as he continued: "Sunghoon had laughed easily and told me no, but if I'm being honest, it felt like it wasn't that simple because Sunghoon said the three of you were a trio, yet whenever I hear your or Heeseung's name, Sunghoon's name is always the last to be paired with it, second to both of yours. It was always Heeseung, Jay, and Sunghoon, or, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon."

Jay had been staring out at the sun as it rose, hoping that maybe it'd blind him so he'd never have to ever see Jungwon's face again. He didn't want to disappear that often, but he could've really used a time-out right then.

"Sorry if I struck a nerve." Jungwon shuffled his feet nervously after a drawn-out silence. "I don't know what I'm saying half the time. You know yourself the best. I think it's anticipation for the competition today. 'Makes me ramble."

"Nah, nah," Jay had reassured Jungwon. "You didn't, and it's okay. Today is a big deal for you, and I don't mind when you talk. I get what you're saying."

They had walked along the shoreline till it was around six a.m., and then they'd headed to the boardwalk since Jungwon mentioned that he wanted to buy something to commemorate his summer in Hawaii as it came to a close.

They had been walking across the street when they heard loud voices, perhaps too boisterous for the hour. One of them had gone, "Hey, man! Are you Jay-walking again?", before laughing.

Jay had rolled his eyes as Niki rounded the corner and pointed at the empty zebra crosswalk a few feet away from where Jungwon and Jay were. Sunghoon had followed a few steps behind Niki as Jay had said, "yea, yea, like I haven't heard that one before."

When Jay had watched how Sunghoon immediately perked up at the sight of Jungwon, he'd laughed along with Niki to hide nerves of his own that, the more he thought about it, had been bottled up inside him and building up for the past two months.

It'd reminded him of a glass bottle with a model ship enclosed inside that Heeseung had gifted him one time as a kid. It made him think of the feelings and secrets that had accumulated over the years, some being too scary to confront while others lazed around in his stream of consciousness.

"Why're you up so early?" Sunghoon had asked as Jungwon browsed some items in open windows.

"Why not?" Jay had responded. "Can't I try being like Park Sunghoon—master of waking up early and sleeping late—for once?"

As he'd let his hair be ruffled by Sunghoon and given into Niki's pleas for a piggyback ride, Jay had known that one thing was for sure: He would have to uncork the bottle and fill it with water, rinsing it clean of the debris and dust that had been housed inside for so long—cleansing what had been safe, and hidden, and untouched.

Jay had locked eyes with Sunghoon as Niki clambered ungracefully onto his back, and Sunghoon's amusement morphed into concern as he sensed a hint of Jay's urgency.

He's always been good at that, Jay had thought as he'd started walking ahead before Sunghoon could ask him about anything and everything.

Heeseung was the bad liar, Sunghoon was the mind reader, and Jay was, well... somewhere in the middle.

Ѱ

A/N - Sunghoon and Niki are such an underrated duo, i absolutely love them.

also i really love this chapter.
the beach + jungwon = comfort