"Man, it's nice to see you again Icing, but uh..." Jelly would look up at the clock on the wall, which shows 1am. "I've gotta get ready for... a date." He muttered. "Holy shit? A date? Dude, this is crazy! The last time you had a date was..." Icing began to think, realizing he'd never seen Jelly have a date. "I don't know... have you been lonely all this time? Or are you-" "I'm not dating Molasses." Jelly Interrupted. "Oh, well that's good to know. But really, have you dated anyone? I wouldn't be surprised if you said no." Icing started to sit on the floor, and cross his legs while watching Jelly. "Well I guess you won't have the element of surprise, haha." He scratched his head nervously, then came to realization. "Wait! There's no time for a long reunion, I've gotta get ready!" He'd run and grab Molasses' arm, and drag him up stairs. Clothes and grooming supplies would comedically fly from the second floor to the first.
". . ." Icing would remain, and pick up a can of hair spray that was there. "What the hell is hair?" He'd whisper to himself. "Whatever it is, I don't think I have it."
Soon enough, Jelly would come down the stairs with Molasses. All slow-mo style, Jelly and his new form was revealed...
He looked exactly the same.
Minus some new polishing and a cap renewal, he barely looked any different. Just... shinier. Flashier. Fancier. It was a minor improvement.
"So, how do I look, old pal?" Jelly said, presenting himself. "You look... Better. Yeah, Better." "Sweet! I'll head out now!" He began to march to the door, and saw the can icing was holding. "Hey, is that my 'Hi-er' spray?" Icing froze, and tossed it to Jelly. "Yeah, it is. I dunno what it is though." "Me neither, haha! It's probably for cleaning something." He'd toss it aside, before walking to the door, and opening it. He started to step out, and-
"Wait! Jelly!" "Huh?" Jelly froze, and stepped back in. "Take my coat so you don't get all wet." Icing would drape the large coat over him, and smile. "There! Now you'll keep that lovely look!" He gave Jelly a gun-fingers gesture, and Jelly did the same. He'd smile, as he left and closed the door behind him.
"He's growing up so fast..." Molasses would say sniffling, and wiping a tear from his eye. Icing would pat him on the back, and look at the hair spray laying on the floor.
Jelly would be running, looking for the fountain. He never remembers seeing a fountain, until he saw the town map near a park. He ran over to it, and started searching wildly. There was a fountain in the middle of town, but it would take about 40 minutes of walking. He let out a sigh, and stuck his thumb out to the road. He decided hitch-hiking would be a better alternative. His legs were already insanely sore. "Shit, I don't this'll work."
Before Jelly could process more of a monologue, a car would drive up and stop for him. "Oh, never mind. Thank God, if there is one." He'd open the back seat car door, and step in. A deep raspy voice would speak from the front. "Wher' ya headed?" And old broken Pickle Jar would reach his head- or, what was left of it- back. He only had one eye, and the rest was shattered or missing. There was still one lonely pickle inside him. "I'm uh... to the city fountain, please." Jelly said, looking away and twiddling his fingers. "Got any money?"
At that moment, Jelly remembered he left his wallet at home. "U-uh, I think so, hold on..." He started to ruffle through the coat pockets, and pulled out a weird metal sphere with little glowing bumps. It kinda looked like that ball from a game he played. What was it? Kali Mari? Kat Safari? Kilimarty? Whatever. Jelly showed him the device, and the Pickle Jar visibly flinched. "O-oh!! I see yer on a 'mportant mission. Alright, I'll take yeh to the fountin'. Sorry mister." Jelly would smile and look at the funny looking ball, and repocket it. "Yeah, very important. So let's go, asap!" And before he could process a second thought, the old jar put the pedal to the metal, and sped through the town at insane speeds. And in 10 minutes, Jelly was at the fountain.
"Ther' yeh go mister, go do yer 'mportant stuff." Jelly smiled, and set a wad of 100's that he found in one of the many coat's pockets down on the centre console. The old jar would gasp, and thank him graciously. Jelly gave him the gun fingers with a smile, and the Pickle Jar returned the gesture. He stepped out of the car, closed the car door, and headed to the Mint-Chocolate Ice cream girl's house. "Thank ya fer yer servis, mister." The jar would whisper to himself, before driving off.
Upon Jelly arriving at her door, he'd knock. He would hear loud clattering and moaning coming from inside. His face would slightly wrinkle in disgust as he began to turn back. And sadly, the door opened as Icey peeked her head through, gasping for air and smiling like she just had the time of her life. "Huff, huff... Y-you're here earlier than I expected..!" She said, slightly melted. "I'm actually here on time... It's 2am. But it looks like you're busy, so I'm gonna head back." Jelly would start to head back, but Icey would quickly grab his arm. Her hand was extremely sticky with goo. She'd pull him closer to the door, and apologize. "haha, I'm not busy. You can join me, if you want..!" She muttered, exasperated.
Jelly reluctantly agreed, and stepped in. To his surprise, there were a couple of guys standing around. A carton of orange juice with a cybernetic left arm would notice Jelly come in, and get excited. "Sweet dude, another person! Now we need one more to complete it!" Jelly would start to sweat, realizing that Icey was A, a slut, B, polygamous, or C, starting an orgy party. Or possibly D, all of the above.
"Uh... Hi..? Who are you guys?" Jelly said, barely getting out thoughts. "Bro, we're Cream's boyfriends! Duh! I'm OJ! Nice to meet you, little dude!" The Orange Juice Carton replied. "And I'm Cumin." Muttered an extremely tall shaker of cumin. How did he even get in this house in the first place? "Oh, uh, nice to meet you two as well. I'm Jelly, and... yeah... I'm Jelly. I was gonna hang out with Icey."
Cumin and OJ would give him an offended look, then angrily look at Ice Cream. "Wtf Bae, why does HE get to call you Icey? We've known you for 7 years!" OJ shouted from across the room. "Hey hey, chill. I've known Jelly here since forever. We're old schoolmates." She said, before smiling at Jelly and giving him an aggressive pat on the back. OJ would sit down and smile at Jelly as well. "Ohhhh, sorry for the misunderstanding little dude. I thought you were newbie, haha. Only her family and closest of closest of people call her Icey." "Wait, but then why hasn't she-" OJ would shush Cumin. "Hush man, this is an important moment! Cream just got reunited with her old pal!"
Jelly would wipe his forehead awkwardly. "Hehe, yeah! We've know each other since Pre-Teaching! We got separated at Mid-Teaching though, sadly." The room would fall silent, and OJ's smile would fade.
"Little dude, did you say you've know her since Pre-Teaching?" OJ said slowly. "Uh... Yes?" Ice Cream would make a gesture, telling Jelly to stop. "What educator did you have?" Jelly would stop and think for a second. "Um... Miss... Mister... Mister Salsa?"
OJ would stand, and walk up to Jelly. He set his mechanical hand on Jelly's cap, and stared him in the eyes. "Mister Salsa... educates 3RD TEACHING." OJ would pick up Jelly, and sling him across the room. Jelly would slam against a wall, causing the crack on his side to grow. He'd fall to the ground, and pick himself up. "No, stop! Don't hurt him!" Shouted Ice cream. OJ popped his shoulder, and looked at Ice cream with an evil smile. "Don't worry babe, he's a liar. We'll take care of him so we can send him to the gates of hell! Liars don't deserve God's grace!" He'd turn around, and charge at Jelly. Before anyone knew it, Cumin would block OJ from ramming into poor Jelly. "Hey OJ, not cool. Don't kill people, or you'll end up in eternal damnation too. If he lies, let him burn on his own." Cumin explained, holding OJ back.
OJ would step back, and calm down. "Yeah man, you're right. God can deal with Jelly themself." The two would retreat the messy couch, and eat some pizza from an obviously older box. Jelly would look around at the now calm room, and walk to Ice Cream. He would just look her in the eyes. "Bitch." He would call her, as he left the house and closed the door behind him. Ice Cream would look down, and lock the door Jelly just walked out of. As Jelly walked onto the street, the Pickle Jar was already parked. Jelly walked up and stepped inside his car, and started to tear up. "Di'n't go well, did it?" Said the old jar. "Nah, it didn't." "Well, don't worry. Nobody that comes 'ere winds up okay. Girl in ther' is a bum, that ain't even her house." Jelly would stay silent for a moment. "Just drop me off at my gramp's place... it's the place next to the rug store on Street 6B..."
The Pickle Jar would nod, and start to drive.
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"My name's Ol' Pickle, by tha way. Di'n't git a proper introduction earlier. What about yah? What's yer name?" Said Ol' Pickle. "My name's Jelly. Jelly J. Willowsby." He muttered. "Tha's nice. Nice ta meet ya Jelly."
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The rest of the ride was silent. Eventually, Jelly arrived home and stepped out of the car without saying a word. He walked to the doorstep of Molasses' house, and walked in.
"Congra- Congratulations..?" Icing and Molasses shouted as Jelly walked in. "Jelly? What's wrong, old pal? Are you okay?" Said Icing, looking concerned for Jelly. Jelly would just walk past, then go upstairs. He'd throw the coat to the side, and lay on his bed. "Why can't I just get a girlfriend? The only girl I've even touched is PB, and I don't even like her... sigh. It isn't fair." Jelly would roll onto his side, and slowly drift to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Concessions
ActionFollow Jelly and his friends as they make their way through a dreary world 60 years after the first Extinction Proclamation, and uncover several mysteries through other characters interactions and stories. WARNING, THIS STORY CONTAINS ADULT THEMES.