Melting love

Tuesday 4th May 2021

It wasn't a good day. In fact it was one of the worst. Kenjirou had been on edge all day, he always despised his birthday but now he had grown to hate it. Eita always told him that birthdays are special and he always made sure Kenjirou's smile never fell that day, but not only on his birthday. Eita always made sure he smiled, every single day. But where was he now? Why wasn't he besides Kenjirou, kissing his plump red lips and whispering happy birthday?

Kenjirou was sitting on the sofa in the living room with a thick blanket wrapped around his body. Despite being early in may he could still feel the coldness run on his skin and through his clothes. He snuggled into his hoodie or- Eita's hoodie and buried his nose on the fabric. There was still alive this little hope of smelling his boyfriend's intoxicating scent, but deep down he knew there was nothing to hope about. This hoodie had been washed several times from the last time Eita wore it and there was not even a little hint of his scent, the clothing smelled like a mix of Kenjirou and detergent.

Eita was miles away. So far away and for such a long time it slowly drove Kenjirou into madness. The apartment had been so silent and lifeless, there was no sound of instruments and singing anymore, all those melodies had been replaced by those stupid tv shows. For the past two years it had been like that, moody with a depressing temper prevailing into the flat. It had been two whole years since Eita left for Los Angeles and those years were the worst for Kenjirou. He felt so oppressed and exhausted from his daily routine, nothing never changed. Kenjirou felt like he was trapped, like the oxygen was drugged out of his lungs. Every day he would wake up at 7am, go to college until 3pm, return home, eat, take a shower, study and then sleep. If he was lucky enough he would video call with Eita but that didn't happen often due to their busy schedules. It was a pure torture for Kenjirou since Eita was dancing around his head 24/7. Eita was the person he loved the most, the person he had made the best memories with and he was eager to make thousand more.

Kenjirou was always working and acting with logic. His heart and emotions didn't have a place in his personality and life. He hated expressing and admitting his feelings not only to everyone else but and to himself. Kenjirou hadn't grown up in an affectionate and loving environment. Both of his parents were successfully running their own businesses. Through the years as he grew up he never remembered having his parents by his side, they were never there for him. Not to his school's activities, not even to his graduation. Simply Kenjirou didn't have memories with his parents, they were always distant shadows to him. Kenjirou grew up with their servants, far away from love and affection.

His parents facing him like that led him to have social problems but also be an A' student. Kenjirou had never had many friends, to be honest he didn't have friends. He always avoided everyone that tried to get closer to him and preferred quite places away from crowded places. His life was so dull, every day felt the same, it was like everything was planned. Every minute of every day was the same as the previous day's. But all that was until he met Semi Eita in highschool, of course it took ages for Kenjirou to accept the boy in his life, in his heart. With baby steps they learnt more about each other, look into each others soul, they grew closer to friends, then best friends and then lovers. It was like Eita was the awaking to Kenjirou's heart. Every little smile, kiss, touch was so careful and soft.

But of course and the fear took its place. They didn't have a lot of time left together in highschool. Eita was getting closer to graduating and entering the adulthood. It had been terrifying for both of them but they stayed still by each other's side. They talked and made plans for the future for hours like all teenagers did. The period when Kenjirou was still in highschool and Eita in college things got complicated but even then they managed to keep their relationship alive and healthy. After Kenjirou graduated and started his first year of medicine they decided to move in together and it was the best decision they had ever made.The year they stayed together was one of the best but also it didn't last very long. Kenjirou felt himself falling for the other boy even more, maybe more than he should.
He loved every single minute, every single morning they spent cuddled up in bed. Every single night when they cooked dinner together and danced around the kitchen with a glass of wine in hand. Every second he had spent with Eita was special.