Yes, yes I'm a disappointment. Yes i don't come out of my room 24/7, it's because I have anxiety and you probably don't understand; you never did. Yes I lied about doing hw. I was crying my eyes out. Yes I listen to music alot, it's because music understands me more than you ever will. Yes I talk to friends alot, it's because they make me feel like someone. They make me feel seen, like I'm a priority. They understand me more than you ever did. All you saw was disappointment. And of course you didn't want to keep it to yourself. You took it out on me till i was insecure about every fucking thing i do. Yes I'm on my phone too much, it's to distract myself from all the self harm thoughts. Yes i don't eat, because I'm fucking anorexic. Every time I eat it makes the self harm thoughts and anxiety worse. I mean even if i did try to make you understand or even try talking to you, you would find some sort of thing to be disappointed about. I cried for two hours straight yesterday, because i felt fucking lonely. I have no one. Not even God. You don't fucking know it's hard. I want it all to stop. But I can't end it. So I stayed. I fucking for you, and for what? For more pain? For more misunderstanding? For more hurt? I have absolutely no one. I'm not perfect, no one is. You say I don't read, right? Well in every fucking book i read, everyone has friends, parents, siblings and they have the life i wish i had. Why am I in bed all day? Because I feel empty inside. Am I sick? Well yes and it's even worse mentally. It's sad that I have to keep it all to myself. You say school fucked me up right? Well no, YOU fucked me up. You fucking broke me. So fuck you.
