im bored here are my maladaptive daydreams

castiel x reader (reader is a winchester)

Welcome to your life. It's been pretty fucking downhill since your ass was pushed out crying and screaming of Mary Winchester's coochie a good 3 minutes after Dean Winchester.

Sure the first 4 odd years were great, pushing Dean around, being there with him all the time, regardless of the circumstances. Then Mama Winchester died, and everything went to fucking shit. Your father, the one, the only John Fucking Winchester, in addition to being a homophobic piece of shit, was also wildly misogynistic. Ever since he had met Bobby Singer, you stayed there during hunts. 

Which was all the time.

 ALL.

THE. 

TIME. 

And Bobby is wonderful. You're lucky to call him Dad, because God knows John was anything but that, but damn a girl needs to have some brother time. 

Bobby and John met when you and Dean were 7, and Sammy was 3. For the first few years (3), Sammy stayed with you, while Bobby kept the roof over your heads and went on the occasional hunt with Uncle Rufus, who would come over for Saturday dinner every week. You were lucky if you saw Dean twice a month, and that fucking sucked because he was your twin. Shit hurted man.

Then Sammy left to help hunt, and you were alone. 

Sammy went off to college, and you found out from a half-assed phone call 3 weeks after. 

The last time you saw Dean was 2 years ago, and John was 6. Sammy came for Christmas that year. (right before season 1)

Then you hear about all the shit that happens. Bobby goes back on active duty as a hunter, you stay behind to do phones and research.. yadda yadda yadda author is lazy and doesnt think that much about season 1-3.. and bam. Deanie was out of hell, with a new beautiful boytoy.

 a/n: now we can actually get into the scenarios, keep that backstory in mind (also these might jump around so unless its linked by title just pretend they didnt happen in the same universo yknow?)

Meeting An Angel of The Lord 

Dean approaches your bed, extremely wary of your seemingly cuddly cute form snoozing. After he's convinced you are posing no immediate threat to him if he goes through with his plan, he tackles you to the bed, and pulls the knife out of your left hand and the gun from your right. Chucking them next to your struggling and whining body, he slaps the back of your head and lets you flip around. Which you do, promptly socking him in the jaw and flouncing out of bed before tackling him back to it. Vicious wrestling ensues which ends in you accidentally-on-purpose kicking his dick. Crying from laughter, you promise to stop and let him out from your grasp. He scowls before calling an amoosed Sammy into the room, who was waiting patiently from beyond the door, knowing that if he got in the midst of it he would most likely break another bone.

"Hey dickwad." 

"Hey whore." You respond 

"Hey bitch." 

"Hey jerk." Sammy bitchfaced.

"So you heard about the ANGEL OF THE LORD" Dean screeched into your ear, which you promptly clamped your hand over.

"Well, now that you mention it Beano, I don't think I did? I didn't hear about you fucking a platypus though so the comms don't seem to be working"

"What in the fuck, wait no actually what." Sammy gaped at you, and you giggled at your stupidity's ability to make him look stupid.

"Anyway, wanna meet him?"