Innocent➳ (z.p)

"Nicotine."

|Nicotine - Panic At The Disco|
/I'm not okay, but that's okay\

|Zayns POV|

Of course, I didn't comprehend what was going to occur in the car last night.

It was definitely not my fault."Was it?" I whisper looking down at my hands, I know it wasn't my fault.

I hear a door open and close, I opened my eyes too see a fuming curly headed boy looking at me with a death glare. "What the hell have you done?" Harry questioned, raising his hands in the air, his voice filled with hurt.
"Don't Hazza me you bloody bastard." His cold voice pierced my ears like knives, I didn't deserve this, I didn't do anything.
"You will pay for this, I'm the only one that knows what happened last night." He gives me a stern, upset look before walking out of the waiting room, I really wasn't ready for that, he's just upset and needed to get over himself.

Actually he doesn't.

I leave the room and go to Niall's room as fast as I can. Liam runs up too me so quickly I didn't know who it was at first. "Oh my god, thought you were somewhere dead." I stayed quiet not responding to him or making eye contact.

I wish I was.

He clings on to me like his life depended on it, I mean it kinda did. I look right up at Harry, who's giving me an icy look, he mouths, "Your dead." Harry puts his hand on his neck and gives me a sharp glare.

I leave Liam's death lock abruptly not caring about the confused look on his face, I walked up to Niall
l and sat right next to the motionless boy. I took his hand onto mine gently. "Oh if I could do anything to save you I would." I mumble staring at the closed eyes of Niall. Suddenly I had this twisted idea in my head, "perfect." I murmured and I quietly walked out."Of course you would leave, you don't give a shit about anyone.." Harry said just audible enough for me too hear,
I flipped him off, not giving one shit about what the curly headed boy had to say about me.

I ran straight to my house, noting how close they were together, which was suppose to be a good thing I suppose.

I fumbled with the keys before opening the door and running straight to my restroom, I kept the door unlocked because honestly who would come and check on me anyways.
I looked around the colorless, unattended restroom, eventually I found a half empty pill bottle in the cupboard, theses were the ones I took from Harry. "These gotta do.'" I shrugged, talking to no one but myself, before the tears slowly ran down my cheeks, so much fucking guilt running through me. I slid down the door and started singing a song quietly,

Cross my heart and hope to die
I wish I could.
Burn my lungs and curse my eyes

I've lost control and I don't want it back
Fucking right.
I'm going numb, I've been hijacked

It's a fucking drag

I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you

So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do
His laugh. Damn.
Yeah, you're worse than nicotine, nicotine
Niall James Horan
It's better to burn than to fade away

It's better to leave than to be replaced
I'm leaving.
I'm losing to you, baby, I'm no match

I'm going numb, I've been hijacked

It's a fucking drag

I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you

So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do

Yeah, you're worse than nicotine, nicotine

Yeah

Just one more hit and then we're through
Liam Payne.
'Cause you could never love me back
I don't love him.
Cut every tie I have to you
Sorry not sorry Liam.
'Cause your love's a fucking drag
You pull me down.
But I need it so bad
I can't be here without you.
Your love's a fucking drag

But I need it so bad

Yeah, you're worse than nicotine, nicotine

Yeah

I took the pills slowly but gradually, I wasn't going to chicken out like last time. I finished all the pills and dropped the bottle on the floor before feeling my body heave to the side and hit the white cold floor. I didn't want to be here and now I didn't have to be.

And I was proud of that.