Behind the mask

All too depressing

I was nervous, back to school came with uncertainties, especially when it's a new school. I had no idea what was going on in my mind, as I quietly sat in the back seat as my step-dad drove me to school, he yawned consistently and each time he did that he always looked like a loser, I wish my mom was still here but he pushed her accidentally to the sink where she hit her head and now she's in a mental hospital, its funny and its not, he is now an alcoholic loser, I hate him so much but it's cool, cause he get to do what I want so as not to report him!

My name's Ava, yes Ava parker. Walking in that school gave me creeps and shivers, finally found my class and the worst thing was the eyes everyone was giving me I wished I could pop them all out but it was all in my head, I had to introduce myself and everyone was smiling at me, maybe I was beautiful after all right? I get to make new friends which is so hard, my former school was crap, I actually got suspended, such a long story I don't want to talk about now, maybe later.

Of course, I'm confused how our minds works, yea teens, we just expect everyone to crush on us, like if I had that magic I would do that. I met some group of girls Casta, Alice and Nicole well I made friends faster than I thought when I told them my dad was an actor, yea he was, before he died on set I made them believe my dad's still alive, so it started from a tiny lie to an history, Like if you had all what are you gonna do? Power is so nice, I bought a lot of lipstick, cause there were really handsome guys in my class but I got my eyes on one the first day in the school, well they say one falls in love in 4 seconds I really did bite my lips when I saw him.

Life is so hard, that was my everyday word, maybe I wasn't concerned my Dad's dead and my mom's is insane, I just had to live life, I felt really great when Nicole says she wishes she had no mom, it was relaxing.

You know that feeling when you look in the mirror and you wow but you get out and you have that voice saying you're ugly as fuck, get it in your skull, I guess so, I just succumb, but I got desperate at some point saving some money for plastic surgery what was I thinking doing a nose job, well Casta encouraged me a lot to wear clothes with my cleavage enticing that's the only thing that'll draw attention and like I had boobs to show, all was so depressing.