After Dazai had left, the boss placed Akutagawa under someone else's command. The young man didn't stop fighting, he challenged himself every day, he trained with countless comrades, because he wanted to become stronger.
Dazai-san, I will live up to your expectation. I will attain you approval. Some day, when we meet again, some day !
He sliced the huge rock Chuuya threw at him into pieces with his ability. ''Alright, that's enough for today ,'' ''No, Chuuya-san, please continue, and leave no mercy on me ,'' Chuuya was exhausted, so was Akutagawa. They had been training for hours. There were other people Akutagawa would train with, but Chuuya was the only one compatible as his adversary, one he could really fight with and gain experience from.
''I didn't have mercy on you, you know ,'' Chuuya stated, panting. ''I mean the kind where you try to kill me ,'' Chuuya's eyes widened. ''Oi, Akutagawa, don't you think that's too much ?'' ''No, nothing is too much as long as I can get Dazai-san's approval, not even death ,'' Chuuya shook his head. ''... next time, Akutagawa, maybe next time ,'' The sixteen year-old was disappointed. ''...yes, Chuuya-san ,''
Chuuya knew Akutagawa was keen on that particular goal, but when he mentioned Dazai's name out loud, Chuuya could help but flinch. It has been a month since the brunet left, but to Chuuya it has been forever. Every single day he would get reminded of the brunet, there wasn't a second he didn't miss his voice, his silly actions, his gaze, his smile.
Every corner of the mafia building reminded him of the time they had spent there. The harder he tried to forget him, the harder it was to forget. The harder he tried to forget him, the more he missed him, the more he wanted the brunet to show up and talk to him.
How are you doing these days?
Are you still grieving?
Are you still mad at me?
Are you ever going to come back into my life?
... are you okay?
Chuuya really wanted to know how the brunet was doing, but he didn't know how to reach out to him, nor if he should. If there was anything he could do it would be to stay by his side and be with him to get through Oda's death, only if he hadn't mess up things between them, making the situation a whole lot worse. He lived with guilt every moment, somehow waiting for the brunet to reach out to him, even if he didn't know if he would ever do that.
*
''Odasaku, I talked to a man that can help me in getting a new job yesterday, a job that helps people ,'' Dazai leaned against the back side of Oda's tombstone. ''He said that I'll have to keep my head down for at least two years, as expected ,'' His eyes focused at something distant, something invisible.
After a while, he spoke again. ''Ango's doing great in his line of work right now, as an agent of the Special Investigation Division, so don't worry about him ,'' He smiled softly. ''Odasaku, after all I've done, will I really fit in in the light ?'' But of course, he got nothing but silence as a response.
He lowered his gaze. ''I've been avoiding him for quite a long time now ,'' Then Dazai stood up. ''But I won't anymore ,'' He smiled softly at the words carved onto the tombstone. ''I'll come again tomorrow, Odasaku ,''
*
It was another tiring day for Chuuya. The whole day Akutagawa's been asking him to attack him with full strength, like he was some puppet with no strength limit. He flopped onto the couch right after he came home.
''Haaahh that kid is really insistent isn't he, I'll sure be suffering from muscle pain tomorrow morning ,'' Then a certain memory flashed across his mind. In the past, whenever Chuuya had muscle pain, Dazai would massage for him with a childish unwilling face.
He would complain every single time that he had to massage for him, saying that it was tiring and troublesome and time consuming. Yet every single time he would do it until he made sure that Chuuya was feeling a lot better, just like how Chuuya would rub his head for him when he had serious headache due to lack of sleep.
Then Chuuya's phone vibrated with a notification. He took it out of his pocket to see who texted him. The moment he saw the name on the screen, he bounced up from the couch.
Dazai ?!!
He hesitated for minutes before reading the content.
Mackerel: 6pm. Odasaku's grave.
Chuuya didn't know if he should be excited or nervous, maybe both. The brunet had finally reached out to him after a month of disappearance. Adding the days he avoided the ginger head into the sum, they hadn't talked to each other for about six weeks.
Chuuya immediately rushed out to head to the venue. He wondered what Dazai had called him out for. He swallowed hard, he was nervous.
*
''Odasaku, I've made my decision a long time ago ,'' Dazai closed his eyes and smiled softly. ''I didn't think I was capable of making such decisions you know? But I guess I juz did, or maybe because it's different this time ,'' He sat on the floor near Oda's grave and waited.
Familiar footsteps approached. Dazai opened his eyes and looked up. ''It's been some time, Chuuya ,'' He smiled at the ginger head standing before him. ''... Da... zai...'' Ocean blue eyes were trembling. He missed that smile, those hazel eyes before him. Chuuya abruptly hugged the brunet tightly, burying his face in Dazai's shoulder.
''Dazai I'm sorry, I'm sorry I did that, I'm sorry I accused you of something you didn't do, I'm sorry I didn't think it through, I'm sorry for everyt--'' ''Chuuya, it's fine. It's fine ,'' Dazai stroked the back of Chuuya's head gently. ''No it's not! It's not... how's any of that fine... ?'' Chuuya's breath trembled. He was on the verge of crying.
How could you say that ? How can you still treat me like you used to ? You shouldn't... you shouldn't...
''Chuuya look at me ,'' Dazai spoke in a soft voice. He slightly smiled as he cupped Chuuya's cheeks. ''It's fine, really ,'' He reassured him. Chuuya held one of his hands. ''Why ?! Why aren't you castigating me ?! Why... why did you forgive me... just like that ?'' Chuuya mumbled his last phrase.
''Because I want to ,'' Dazai replied without hesitation. Chuuya's eyes widened at his words. Dazai chuckled before speaking again. ''Because I still love you, Chuuya. Call me an idiot, but I still do ,'' He rested his palm on Chuuya's head. His gaze was soft like before, like nothing had ever happened between the two of them.
Tears dripped down Chuuya's jaw.
Why...?
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Parted Entanglement { ③ }
Fanfiction''It... it wasn't you...'' That was the worst way possible to break the truth to him. On a job in Hiroshima, Chuuya was drunk. He had a one-night-stand with a guy at the hotel, whom he didn't know. He wanted to confess and apologize to Dazai, but he...
