Soulmate

2

"Who do you think then?" Oti asked, handing both Dianne and Amy a wine. Red to be specific.

"My gut was that they'll give me," Dianne paused trying her hardest to find the name that was on the tip of her tongue.

"Well this is a good start," Amy teased, as Dianne flapped her hands around trying to remember the name.

"Blue," she said slowly, "Blue, Lee, shit," she paused again, rolling her eyes at Amy and Oti sniggering. "Lee Ryan," she said pointedly.

"Got there in the end." Oti chuckled, makes sense though, they put you with him a few times. Ames?"

"Not sure, Ranj maybe, but he's short so I put him with you and Janette, Di, erm, oh maybe Graham actually."

"See I had Graham in my books, but also Danny for me."

"Oh yeah, they had you with him quite a bit."

"You might get Joe, Di, he's quite small," Amy said, pulling up the email with the announced list of contestants, opening her notebook which she had been updating at every opportunity.

"I don't know why you're assuming I'm going to get a short one, I had Revvo last year and he was tall."

"True," Oti agreed, "how tall's lee?"

Amy flicked to the page on Lee Ryan and informed, "five ten ish?"

"See he's like half a foot taller than you Di."

"Ranj is more your height, Red, five six."

"They have put me with Ranj quite a bit, and we were getting on, me, him, Janette and Joe, at lunch."

"Short arses for life."

"Rich coming from you Mabuse, you're not that much taller."

"Joe's nice, isn't he?" Amy had managed a quick conversation between 'speed-dating' with Joe.

"Yeah," again Dianne's hand twitched to her arm under the blanket she was curled up in and her tummy gave an unflattering gurgle of nervousness.

"... what do you think Di?"

Dianne shook her head and blinked, "sorry what," she had zoned out, recalling her introduction to Joe, she could have sworn she had heard him say her words, but at a few months shy of thirty, it was very possible she had imagined it- desperate to hear those words before she died. But this time there was a layer to her depressing need to hear them- it was completely inappropriate.

"Danny, he's competitive."

"Yeah," she answered, half arsed.

"What's up with you? You've fallen inwards."

She shook her head, sipping her drink, "tired." She hoped this was good enough to excuse her and stood, shaking off their groans, as she tipped the remainder of her wine into each of her glasses.

"You're not thinking about Ant again are you, babes?"

Dianne sighed, "no, no, honestly I'm just," she slowly blinked, pinching the bridge of her nose, "promise."

"Come find us if you do."

Dianne nodded and walked to her small room, now thinking of Anthony. Their words hadn't matched, not that it had particularly mattered, not everyone, Dianne knew, ended up with their soulmate. Plenty of people married others, or divorced theirs. It had been a pretty physical relationship that required a high-standard of self-care. It had fizzled out, as most of her relationships eventually did, as the reality that they were never and could never be soulmates surrounded them. Anthony hadn't been put on the earth to protect her soul and love her in the process and he eventually became a number in her body count and a chapter in her life she generally didn't wish to visit again.