Still Alive

Chapter 4

Chapter 4-

 Summer, 1997, NY

"Izabellah, Sit up right."

"Izabellah, Look people in the eye when you talk."

"Izabellah, don't talk with food in your mouth,"

"izabellah, Smile, look approachable."

"Izabellah, No you're doing that wrong."

"izabellah, don't fight with me."

"Izabellah stop."

 I had learned many things about Bella, in the couple months we had known each other. Summer, '97, she was now seven and I was nine. Some how that had seemed reversed. Bella was expected to be far more mature for her age. This expectation, however only came from her mother Teresa - an born Italian women that some how had black background. 

Teresa expects nothing less of perfection from Izabellah and would do whatever it took to accomplish that.

"This is how you walk when you are in the presence of men Izabellah. This is how you walk when you are in the presence of women Izabellah. Finally this is how you walk when you are in the presence of lower class people." Teresa had paused and looked at me then, even at nine I knew when I was being insulted.  "Chin up, chest out."

Teresa never liked me, I had made efforts years ago, but my patients with the arrogant Italian woman soon wore thin. Eventually I stopped giving a shit what she thought about me and only did me.

"Mamma this is my friend from school I told you about. Aliza, this is mia madre." Bella introduced us.

The lady had curly brown hair -like Bella's-and tan-ish skin. she was beautiful, but if I hadn't known Bella, or have Bella hadn't introduced us, I would have never guessed they were related. Bella looked nothing like her.

Nine, that's how old I was when I learned of the word interracial  or Bi-racial or even mixed. They all mean the same thing.

"Why do you look like that girl?" she asked me. I looked down at myself. What did she mean by that? 

I looked at Bella, then I got it.

Why was I poor?

"Um..."  How was I suppose to answer that? I was nine I didn't know why I was poor.

"Izabellah, I don't like her." Teresa said. "I don't want to see you with her again." she spoke stern and slowly as if Bella was a baby and wouldn't understand. For half a second I was scared she was going to hit her.

You can imagine how odd it was for me when she didn't. I always knew I would get slapped when my mother talked like that. It was her way of getting her point across.

Bella nodded and I thought "There goes our friendship." Bella grabbed my hand and left the room seemingly forgetting her mother's warning

XxX

Darrell- Bella's father- was like Teresa's polar opposite. He was probably the most jolly, caring, selfless, nicest man I've ever met. He had dark skin and brown eyes and dark hair, he looked like Bella.

He shook my hand when we met and smiled at me.

"you'll be a good friend to my daughter right girlie?" he laughed, playfully.

I nodded. He wrapped his pinky around mine and shook it. "pinky swear." he said.

I held up my pinky. "why swear on your pinky. Why not your thumb, what so special about your pinky." Darrell laughed like that was the funniest thing I've ever said. So I laughed too confused about what was so funny.

Darrell had asked about my hair, why it was so jagged. I remember staring at him for a little while not knowing how to answer, My mother would kill me if I ever uttered a word,

"I was playing around, " I started before I could stop myself. "trying to do my hair like how my mommy does, I accidentally cut all. Mommy  laughed and promised it would grow back." The words rolled off my tongue like foregein far away things I've only now tasted. It felt good. 

Darrell eyed me, then smiled, "Izabellah tried that once when she was tiny-" he glanced at his daughter, "tinier," He laughed. "Luckily I stopped her, here sit I can fix it. Doesn't your mommy know how?" He asked helping me into a chair then went to get clipper scissors.

My second hair cut made me look even more boyish yet I loved it. I loved that some one did that for me.

"You're beautiful" Darrell told me. That was my first time being called 'beautiful'. I knew from our first meeting I would love Bella's father Darrell.

XxX

"She's black." Matthew said looking at Bella.  I wasn't to excited to let Bella meet my family. Bella however was jumping up and down at my side.

"Actually, I'm mixed." Bella corrected.

Paris and Daniel giggled.

"never had black pussy Matthew can I??" Paris asked

Bella didn't take noticed to this.

"NO!" I said before Matthew could answer. He glared at me,

"You brought her here, if you didn't want us to have her you wouldn't have."

At that age I still wasn't entirely aware of what they were doing to me, but I knew I didn't like it and if I didn't like no way in hell was I going to let it happen to Bella. I made that my pinky swear to myself. Never let Matthew or any one harm my new friend.