Lovin' This ( Imagines || )

t w o

prompt(s) : #36 "I can't pretend anymore." & #50 "What keeps you up at night?"

pairing : Jay Halstead x Reader

requested? : Yes // bat-luna-cat on Tumblr

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Here you were yet again, waking up in the early hours of the morning to your boyfriends side of the bed empty. You weren't quiet sure if he actually came home from the unit last night or if he was still there doing paper work. You rolled over and reached on your bedside table for your phone to check the time 3:36 am flashed across the top of your lockscreen. You smiled softly at the sight of your lockscreen wallpaper, your boyfriend stood beside you with his hand around your waist placed just above your bottom and your arm placed around his waist at last years Police Ball.

You unlocked your phone and saw you had an unread text message from your boyfriend. 

1 New Message : 

From - Jay Hot-stead - 5 hours ago 

"Hey baby. It's gonna be another late night. Feel free to turn the lights off. I love you so big."

You sighed softly as you typed up a reply. Jay had been overworking himself on this case, a case brought in by New York's Special Victims Unit. You hated seeing Jay being torn between the two cities, bags becoming a permanent thing not only under his eyes, but by your front door ready to go when needed. 

To : Jay Hot-stead

"Okay baby, please come home soon. Be careful. I love you."

Your eyebrows furrowed as you heard a phone chime in the office down the hall. You got up and opened your bedroom door softly, all the lights Jay had mentioned were already turned off. You sighed softly as your socked feet carried you to Jay's office where the door was cracked and light peeked into the hallway. 

You slowly pushed the door open and saw Jay sat at his desk, papers spread all over his desk, reading over a vanilla folder he held in his hands. 

You slowly walked over, smiling softly as Jay looked up and smiled tiredly at you.

"Hey baby girl." He spoke softly, putting the folder down on the desk and holding his arm open for you. You slowly walked over and sat sideways on his lap. Your arm finding its place around his neck as his found its way around your waist, resting at the small of your back. You softly laid your head in his shoulder, placing a soft kiss at the base of his neck.

"Hi." You spoke softly, a yawn slipping through.

You sat quietly, playing with the hair at the back of his neck as he continued looking through the paper.

"You alright?" Jay asked, squeezing your hip softly. You shrugged softly, lifting your head from his shoulder. 

Reaching for the folder in his hands, you took it and laid it on the desk, closing it. 

"What keeps you up at night?" Jay asked, rubbing your side as you turned your face to him. He smiled softly at you, your eyes were tired, your hair in a loose braid with strands falling out. 

"Missing you. Waking up to a cold bed. My boyfriends arms not around me. Wondering if I'm gonna wake up to a text saying your flying to New York on a new lead. Being strong for us." You spoke, your fingers coming from the back of his head to his chin where you ran them over the new scruff forming.

"Baby, I'm fine. You need to be getting your sleep." Jay spoke softly, resting his forehead against yours. 

"I can't pretend anymore." You spoke softly, sniffling to keep the tears at bay. 

"Pretend what, baby?" He spoke softly, rubbing your back and pulling back to look at you.

"Pretending I'm not worried about you. Pretending everything is okay, when it's kind of not. Jay, I'm worried about you. You're overworking yourself." You spoke softly, looking Jay in the eye.

He sighed softly, looking down and then back up at you.

"I know I am. I'm trying not to, but this case. This case is something difficult." Jay spoke.

You didn't like hearing about the difficult cases. You knew Jay could talk to you about the softer ones, the ones with less victims. The ones that didn't involve children.

"You need sleep Jay. You can't crack this case with no sleep. I need you to sleep. I need my Jay back."

Jay softly cupped your cheeks in his hands, pulling you to him and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You kissed back before pulling away. 

Standing up, you held your hands out for Jay. 

"Come join me in bed, you have the day off tomorrow. Kevin or Adam can take the case for the day, give it fresh eyes." You spoke, leading the way to the bedroom, turning the office light of on the way to the bedroom. 

Jay had never felt so lucky to have you in his life. He didn't know what he would do without you.