shit what can i write today, life isnt that interesting latley just sitting at home all day and trying to find who am i.
how can i find myself without being able to be free and go out without having to tell someone i remember my first attempt, i didnt cry and i wasnt scared.
my brother is a drug addict and so i knew that his pills are no joke.
i remember taking all the pills i found every single one of them and no emotion at all i wanted to die i wasnt scared at all, moments after i did that, well for me it felt like moments i was on the floor my mom found me and yelled to my dad.
i went to the hospital and they saved me.
why? i didnt wanted to be saved. after a month of trying to get back on my feet i woke up to a text massege.
*** died, my friend killed himself. at first everything went quiet and then every thing was louder then before, then the manic episode started, i was so happy all the time havent let myself cry well, i havent cried for a month i didnt want to start now.
my mind is asking me questions and i dont want to answer, i took the bottle of alcohol i had in my room and started drinking i remember it said it was 35% alcohol and i drunk it like water havent stopted my mind is asking questions and im drinking cant stop, cant think, come on go for a walk, jump, drink, dance, drink, play on the ps while hearing music and drink.
then, BOOM, my body fell to the ground and i started bursting into tears, very confused and not understanding what is up i just kept living life, i didnt knew what is happening why he did that then again, a text massege.
'' he killed himself with pills'' silence, i saw the text massege and everything shut down.
we tried to kill ourselfs the same way and someone made it.
