book of words

tired.

the anger burns inside of him. It burns. It starts a forest fire inside of his heart, and it spreads to his veins and his nerves and it leaves his brain to burn.

The flames angrily crack and sizzle under his skin, leaving red burn marks for him to look at later. They brand him. They make him himself, and he wallows in his own self pity in hopes that it'll eventually fade, but it never really does.

Months later, maybe even a year. (He stopped trying to keep track of time a long time ago.) One small bump into something can leave him jumping, because the branding from the burns are still there. 

And sometimes the flames still ignite. They always come back. They keep setting his entire body to flames but this time he refuses to let them brand him. sometimes, he loses control. and then his consequences leave him to, again, be branded by his very temper and his very heart which is kind to no one when on fire. and he chokes on a sob.

usually, now, though, he controls himself. he pulls back the match just as he's about to burn the bridge. no matter how reluctant the action may be. No matter how much the flames inside of him get larger, and larger, and the temptation to let it brand him and make him whole is there. he quietly refuses, still. he has to. Who would he have been if he burned that bridge, burned his brain completely and set his heart to ashes? Maybe they already are, though.

And nonetheless, he's tired. He's so tired of fighting and screaming and arguing and trying so desperately to prove himself or to convince the other person they're wrong. He lets them accept it sometimes. His title burns into him like a stamp on paper, except it's hot and painful, do you ever wonder if the stamp hurts the paper?

But he accepts it. He lets the title burn into him, he lets it seep through his skin and burn all the way to its heart. and he lets his heart ignite once more, but doesn't take any action. He's tired. He's tired—And so he lets the flaming candle wax drip onto him, creating a sort of rhythmic tune. It's almost beautiful.