𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 (slow updates)

ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛɪᴏɴ

harry and zayn kept up what they were doing for several days since their last encounter. it would happen any time they would see each other or found themselves alone together. they'd share sweet tender kisses, exchanging affectionate touches and invade one another's space. needless to say, whatever this was going on between the two of them, they both couldn't deny that they enjoyed it and neither intended on stopping it anytime soon, despite the evident reasons.

it went on like this for the next two weeks; them kissing passionately, getting handsy with one another whenever possible. harry being the naturally affectionate person he is, completely soaking it all up; every single touch, every kiss, every whispered sweet nothing. anything physical that the raven could offer him, he took it without a second thought and locked it away to keep and always have.

on top of that, there were a handful of times where they would begin venturing beyond just a simple touch or an innocent kiss. however, every time they came close to having sex, harry would hold out, visibly reluctant to take the step further. it's not because he was scared of zayn hurting him and it definitely wasn't because he didn't want it. harry wanted him, he wanted him more than he's ever wanted anything in life.

he just didn't know what to make of this situation. he doesn't know what this means, or what it will mean if they decide to take what it is they're doing in that direction and go all the way. on the other hand, he also felt bad—not for leonardo, but for zayn—because he isn't exactly single. at the end of the day, he goes back home to leonardo, the man that still holds the status as harry's boyfriend; for six months now.

it felt wrong—it was wrong.

it's true, harry hasn't felt the care and the love from leo that he gets from zayn, but is he really going about this the right way? sneaking around with zayn just to make himself feel better? it wasn't fair to zayn and it was wrong, no matter how he looked at it. if he really wanted something special like this with the other man, the least he could do was cut ties with his current relationship, but he hasn't done that.

harry's thought about it on multiple occasions, well before this affair began. there were an abundance of things harry had thought to do in order to get out of this relationship. his first thought was to break up with leonardo over text or a phone call so that he wouldn't have to face a wrath he knew would come if he did it face to face. then he thought about changing his phone number and cutting all communications with the man, then going to stay somewhere else—with a friend or family—for a while until leo got the message.

there were numerous options on what he could do. but, he would freeze up and a billion of other worries would cloud his judgement.

harry was a fool.

there were so many things he could've done, but he sat and did nothing. and it seems as though the longer and longer harry stays in this relationship, the harder it is for him to get out. he doesn't know why. he didn't have any reason to stay. the feelings he initially developed for leonardo were long gone, leaving nothing behind but despair and resentment.

why wouldn't he just walk away? everything would be okay again. it's simple.

now, he that thinks about it, it is that simple. why is he keeping himself here held hostage by fear? instead of pulling himself together and doing something about it? he's been letting himself be punished, tortured, and disrespected in his own home. he let things spiral out of control to the point now he's worried for not only his but his baby's safety. just an innocent child. it shouldn't have been like this, he should have never let it get like this.