The Accidental Harem: T4

The Java and The Jerk

I just made it out the door when my spud-covered present slid out behind me and planted himself in my way. At least I stopped walking before I ran into him. I was sure there were several more ways I could screw this up.

I was an overachiever like that.

Thane lifted his arms, palms out. A gesture of surrender. "Please, just stop trying to escape for one minute."

"I'm not sure I can afford that."

He smirked.

He had dimples.

Why was the world so cruel to me?!

"May I ask why you're running?"

I blinked at him. Was he serious? Did he zone out through the entire mental episode I had in there?

"Why would I NOT run? First, I sit on your lap. Second, I slap your face with tator tots. Third, I inadvertently attempt to suffocate you with said tots. Fourth, I completely sever the connection between my brain and the rest of my body. I'm fairly sure you were present for all of that. I am also fairly sure I was not entirely done making a complete fool of myself, so I left before any more damage was done."

Thane just stood there smirking, his eyes seemed to be trying to figure me out as they slid over me. Good luck with that.

But having someone like him look at me for that long... made me wish I could turn invisible. I'd done enough damage tonight. I needed to go home.

I took a step toward the parking lot before he could speak, but he just sidestepped in front of me. "Yes, I was there. And I don't think you made a fool of yourself at all. I'd say you made a very memorable first impression."

I could do nothing but blink for the longest time. My brain was broken. I was sure of it. "So does a serial killer. It doesn't mean it's a good one. "

"Also, I think I owe you food. Since I ended up wearing it. It's only fair I replace what I ruined." He casually placed his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants.

"I don't th-"

"Harper Renee what in the name of all that is holy are you doing?!"

Yes, because this whole thing couldn't get any worse. Cue my mother.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I turned toward the shrill voice. She was all dressed up in her favorite black floral dress, her light brown hair up so high I'm surprised birds didn't try nesting in it. And an upturned, pointy nose finished off her Sunday best.

"I was on my way home. I have to work later and I need to get ready." Yes, I didn't have to work at the coffee shop for another two hours. And it takes about five minutes to get there. But it was as good an excuse as any at the moment.

I could hear my mother revving up for an argument so I cut her off before she started. I took a few steps toward her and gave her a half-hearted hug. "I'll see you at home, mother." I risked a glance at my Present as I passed him, his mouth hanging open slightly and he looked as if he wanted to stop me. Thankfully he didn't.

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"Your usual, Beth?" I sent the middle aged blonde at the register a smile. She was a regular, always stopping by on her way to work for a mocha latte with soy. Must help with the night shift.

"You know me so well, Harper. The largest you have please. I didn't get that much sleep today."

"I'm on it."

While I busied myself with the latte I heard the bell on the front door ding. I didn't even look up. "Be right with you!"

I rung up Beth's coffee, set it on the counter for her and turned toward the newcomer. Good thing I had set the coffee down. There stood my ex, Philip. That fake smile plastered on his face.

I tried to be polite, but couldn't muster a smile for the constipated weasel. "What can I get you?"

He had the nerve to narrow his eyes at me. "Let's start with your phone number, since apparently you changed it."

"Of course I did. We broke up and you were blowing up my phone. And no, I'm not giving it to you, so if you're not here for coffee you can leave." I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

Philip looked the same as he had a few months ago when we broke up. Same button down shirt over jeans. Shaggy blond hair that always went into his eyes. Which were the same color as the stray turds our neighbor's dog leaves in our yard. Coincidence, I think not.

"I don't understand why you're being selfish. It was always what Harper wanted. You broke up with me and cut all communication. That's a dick move, especially when I've done nothing to deserve it."

Oh, it was on.

"Selfish? Seriously? I couldn't even buy myself a coffee without you frothing at the mouth. It was always about you. 'Don't embarrass me, Harper.' 'I need you to pick me up right now, Harper.' 'I don't care if it's your birthday, I'm not eating Chinese, Harper.' And don't even try to tell me you did nothing to deserve it. I distinctly remember you coming to my house high and punching me in the face. More than once. Now, order or get out."

Philip quickly took on the small coffee shop, eyeing up Pete, the older guy that sips his one cup of black for hours. But Pete was not paying attention. Before I could bring my attention back to Philip I felt a hand grip my upper arm painfully tight. There would definitely be a bruise.

"Who do you think you are, Harper?" He kept his voice low, but menacing. "Trying to drag my name down to your level? A nineteen-year-old virgin who still lives with her mother. Pathetic. You were lucky to be with me. Trust me, you won't get anything better than me. You're a nobody."

I locked my expression into an indifferent mask, refusing to let him know his words affected me. Nothing he said was anything I hadn't heard before from my own mother.

I clenched my teeth together. "Don't touch me."

A menacing smile slid across his face, and I faintly heard the sound of the bell on the front door. "You're mine. I can do whatever I like with you."