Ad Hominem

3. A Name To Remember

It was the morning before Christmas, when most of the doors in the neighborhood had wreaths for decoration, and a thin layer of snowflakes coating their front porch. The kids couldn't wait for Christmas morning, they were out on their backyards, building snowmen and snow angels, catching cold or nevertheless, carrying on their snowball fight. Teen couples were seldom noticed out on the sidewalk, walking close and whispering sweet nothings which caused a puff of smoke to erupt from their words. But Bennett couldn't feel the joy of these.

He was stuck inside his penthouse, watching everything from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows and standing emotionless with a cup of cold coffee. It didn't bother him as much as being lonely on a holiday did, but he was reluctant to ever imply it openly to any of his three close friends, who were long gone for a vacation.

The more he thought about it, the more he realised that that's all they were: friends.

Maybe best friends who were like the siblings he never had, but loved them regardless. The more thought he put into it, the more he realised that he couldn't hope for anything more from them. Of course they understood him, of course they stood by him at all costs, but... what about something more?

He couldn't fit Naomi into that equation, somehow it felt... wrong. It felt forceful, and though they'd had a few close calls -which, Jordan would gladly deem as 'moments'- yet, they weren't as compatible, or as smooth-flowing as what a relationship felt like. Bennett felt the lack of love somehow, and it hit him deep about his forthcomings.

What'd become of him? Is he meant to walk his lifepath alone? Guarded and cold-hearted?

He pulled the drapes and shielded himself from the warmth of the Christmas spirits around him. 'What was I thinking about?' he pondered aloud. 'Nothing,' part of his mind replied, 'It was nothing.'

_____________

Around five in the afternoon, when the sun began to set on the horizon and used to mark the beginning of Christmas in the older days, Bennett let out a sigh and stretched his limbs on the recliner in his room. The digital clock beeped, signalling five p.m. and he reluctantly got up to grab a snack-bite. He decided on s'mores and hot chocolate. 'If I'm gonna sulk, I better sulk with a pleased stomach,' he concluded. But his eternal pantry proved useless. There was no graham crackers, not even any marshmallows.

Chocolate, however, was in abundance.

'If only Jordan was here, I could've sent him to do my chores. That boy would do anything to earn a spare penny,' he missed him still. Pulling on a beanie -a grey one that was gifted by Naomi on his twentieth birthday- he checked the mirror.

He stared blankly at his reflection. No acnes, no more scars from his excursions, not even a hideous wort or too much facial hair. His skin was pale, very pale, on the edge of being deathly, in fact- which could reason for a few people being repulsed by him. But a few would find that... not repulsive. He knew that. Naomi did once slip up and told him he was beautiful. For any guy, that could be a huge turn-off, they rather preferred the adjective 'handsome'. But he had felt a sense of fondness and affection from her remark.

What was the problem then? He shoved his thoughts away. 'No,' he determined, 'I won't settle for another Abby. If it takes time, I will be patient, but not with someone who'll leave me at the first chance someone richer shows up.'

With that thought in mind, he grabbed a jean jacket over his sap-green sweatshirt, and slid his feet into his Adidas hightops. Keys in pocket, he stepped outside of his apartment and locked his penthouse, walking monotonously towards the stairs. He would rather jog his way down and do something than stand all claustrophobic in the elevator.