Anxiety.

Prologue

        It usually never starts bad. There is usually a part in one's life where they can look back on and think they'd do anything to go back to that happy time. My story is no different, I have a moment that I wish I could go back to. No my life isn't terrible, it's probablt a pretty normal life, except the part when I am diagnosed with general anxitey disorder. This diagnosis was given to me when I was fourteen years old and got insomnia from panic attacks and didn't want to leave my house for the fear of feeling that anxiety. Since then I have grown up three years and can't go a single day without anti-depressents and a whole lot of other medication with the addition of therepy once a week.

        Summer is probably my least favorite part of the year because my thighs don't have a gap, my hip bones are hidden under fat, and I look terrible in a bathing suit, Which proably what effects my social life. I'm not saying I don't have friends, I'm just saying my phone notifications are minimal and basically consist of my mom reminding me to take my meds. I do have a few ok, three. Two of them do not know about the medication or the anxiety, though I do makes jokes about it to one of the friends that don't know helplessly hoping that they will pick up on it, but they never do. The friend that does know is the friend that was there when I was going through it.

        I've never had a boyfriend nor have I ever kissed a boy. It's very sad considering I am seventeen year old. I blame my psychological problems for my lack of action seems like a logical reason. But it could be because of my physical appearance like I said before I'm not very skinny, my hairs too thin and too straight, my face is not symetrical and studies have shown people are attracted to symetrical faces, thanks parents you had one job.

        Well to bring all my disadvantages to one point in my life that makes me wish I could go back to a happier place, its now. Its summer, and I will most likely have no one to hang out with will leave me alone with my thoughts all day, which isn't going to be a good thing. My name is Alice and wonderland is were I'd rather be.