Amnesiatale

Getting Answers

I stepped into the castle. Something twisted within me. The whispers had already become screams, making my skull flare in a sharp, painful headache. I pressed onwards anyways. I stepped into a golden hall. It was almost funny. In a way, this is where it all began. This hall.. this corridor. It was the answer I've been seeking for so long.

✴✴✴

A much, much younger version of me was being dragged into the hall by a skeleton in a lab coat. I was probably 6 or 7. "i-i don' wanna hurt anyone! please, dad! don' make me!" I cried out. "You will, Sans.. you are the only one strong enough now. That determination saved your life, now you can use it to save everyone else's. Sans. You can do this. I know it's scary, but humans are to dangerous for normal monsters. You are not normal.. not anymore. Please, son. Save us." Little me looked conflicted. "i'll be.. savin the mons'ers?"
"Yes. That's why we must practice, why you must become the Judge." I looked down. "so.. i gotta hurt humans.. to save 'em?" Dad nodded. "That's right Sans."
"an' there's no other way?"
"No.. I wish there was, my boy."

✴✴✴

I was maybe 12 now. Dad and I were training in the hall when the alarm sounded. A human had fallen. "we should go check on pap-"
"Papyrus will be fine. He's safe and sound at Grillby Sr's bar. Now's your chance, Sans! You can stop the human here and protect the monsters." Dad urged. "i.. i don't know if i'm ready dad.."
"You can. You're ready." Dad put a hand on my head. "You've got this." So we waited. The human came. The battle started. I was winning.. but I faltered in the killing shot. They.. would've killed me.. if Dad hadn't gotten in the way.. I watched him turn to dust. I watched them burn under the heat of my blaster.

✴✴✴

I came back when I was 16. I needed a few years to raise Papyrus before  I became the Judge. I was ready now. Asgore and Gerson were waiting on me. "An' What makes ya think a scrawny lil' kid like you can be th' Judge?" Gerson asked. "i killed the last human. we now have four human souls." I replied. "We'll see 'bout that." The old turtle's hammer swung down. I dodged to the side and the ground cracked on impact. He was serious. I narrowed my sockets. So was I. He swung it to the side. I dodged again. He swung up. I dodged again. "Dodgin' won't always save ya, boy! Ya gotta attack at some point!" I dodged again. "i already have."
"Wha-" my blaster his his shell, knocking him forward. I sent a bone attack upwards, slamming into his chin, then I turned his soul blue and pushed him into a pillar. "uh.. sorry if i was to rough.." Asgore looked bewildered while Gerson started laughing. "Wah ha ha! That's some raw power ya got there, boy!" I was accepted as the Judge immediately.

✴✴✴

Another human fell down. After being sure Pap was ok, I went to the hall. I was 19 now. Papyrus had started guard training with Undyne. When they came, I was ready. They didn't seem murderous, but looks can be deceiving. "Just let me though. No need to get violent." I checked them. They had L.O.V.E. Not much, but enough to make them dangerous. "no can do, kid." They sighed. "I tried being civil." They pulled out a gun and fired. I dodged. "me too." I hit them with all I had.

✴✴✴

When the sixth soul dropped, I was ready for a fight. They didn't give one though. "Your.. the Judge.. right?" I was taken aback. "uh.. yeah.."
"Take my soul. I want to help free monsters." Was this kid for real?! I checked. No EXP. No LV. They were dead serious. They wanted me to kill them. "why..?"
"What better reason than to help those in need?" They replied smiling. "uh.. ok.. any.. any last requests?"
"I wanna see waterfall one more time, if I could." I killed them as quickly and painlessly as possible while they were watching the stars.

✴✴✴

I was tired. Tired of killing humans. After that last one.. I felt so guilty.. I can't.. not with the good ones. Not again. This last human was just that. A good human named Frisk. They'd befriended Pap, Alphys, Tori, hell even Undyne. I wasn't going to kill them. Instead, when they came in, I gave them a talk. Ya know. The whole love vs L.O.V.E. chat. After I let them go. Things after that got very blurry. Something about Prince Asriel. But the barrier broke and seeing the sun for the first time was amazing!

✴✴✴

I don't understand! We were on the surface! Why were we here again?! Why was I here again?! Something was different though. Frisk was killing everyone. I gripped at the scarf around my neck. Every. Single. Monster. I couldn't afford not to care anymore. "so.. you've been busy.. huh? well, i gotta question for ya. do you think even the worst person can change, if they just tried?" They took a step forward. "well i got a better question. do you wanna have a bad time? because if you take another step forward..." My eyelights went dark. "you're going to have a bad time." They took another step forward. "welp. sorry old lady.. this is why i don't make promises." I gave this fight my all. They kept. Coming. Back. I was starting to understand. Eventually though.. I died too.

✴✴✴

So they kept resetting. Pacifist. Neutral. Genocide. Over and over and over. Until they ran out of their own determination. They, of course, weren't the only ones running out. Papyrus, Alphys, Undyne, Toriel, Papyrus.. they were all their for me when I fell down. They'd said Frisk donated bits of their soul for mine. Heh. Was it for the genocides? Did they feel guilty too? Hell if I knew.

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