Perfectly Pink - An It's Always Been You Romance (Complete)

Chapter 38

"Glad my loner status isn't your only excuse." Finn mumbled his words, the lack of venom a relief to Mary.

"No. I had other concerns."

"Like?"

"You were a high school dropout without any prospects."

The venom returned and Finn hissed, "Sheesh, what a snob."

"No. A realist. It may not have been obvious to you, but we were suffering. Money was becoming an issue. Luckily, Mom and Dad had been saving for our education for years, so we didn't have to worry about that. But our father,"—Mary hated admitting this—"well you know enough by now; he was spending money like it was water and things became uncomfortable."

The family's dirty little secret. Only after her mother's death did Mary truly come to understand the extravagances of her father. And she'd followed suit, the two of them using their indulgences to mask their grief. All culminating in her father's disastrous run for governor. The political move drained their accounts, leaving the family bank account poor with expensive lifestyles to maintain.

"The money was running out and Emily needed to be far away, so she didn't get stained by the situation. She was supposed to be looked after, living in the dorm. But everything changed because of you. The apartment was an expense. Travel to and from university was an expense. With no meal plan, food was an expense."

"I was going to get a job."

Mary waved a hand at him. "Sure. More dishwashing? That wouldn't pay for much. Would Emily have to get a job, too? Fit in school between shifts at a diner or cashier? She needed to focus on her classes, not basic necessities. How would you have provided for her?"

"We would have found a way. I loved her."

"But I wasn't sure you did."

A large hand gripped the mantlepiece before her, Finn's fingers turning white under the pressure. Mary rushed to explain.

"How could it be love? We were all so young, letting our hormones rule us with no one to intervene." Mary swallowed. "If you truly loved her, you would have let her go to university alone. Given her a chance. Let her focus on school, not on you."

"I'd never—"

"What if she got pregnant?" Mary cut him off, turned, and met his eyes. The blue irises clouded, not hard anymore. He opened his mouth, but she didn't let him speak. "Don't say you wouldn't have let it happen. Birth control is only 99% effective. And that's if you use it. There was a chance. She'd have to drop out or split her time between the baby and school. I couldn't risk her future."

Finn shook his head. "So, you made her miserable instead?"

Mary lifted her chin. "I've said I'm sorry. I can't change what I did. My plan was flawed. I didn't know how to cool down your relationship and when Emily wrote the note to you the day she left for Japan, I saw an opportunity. So I took it. Thought I was doing the right thing, protecting my sister."

Silence engulfed the room as Mary waited for Finn to absorb her words. His jaw worked, and she could see a vein straining on his neck. Was he going to explode? If he did let loose the anger he held against her, perhaps someday they could move past this.

When he did speak, Finn's voice was low and frustrated. "Maybe I can understand what you did that summer. But that doesn't explain why you lied to her for eight years. How was that protecting her?"

"I wasn't protecting her. I was protecting me. The longer you stayed away, the worse things got. And telling her the truth scared me. And I hoped I wouldn't have to. It killed me to see her upset, but I thought the situation would only be temporary. She'd get over you."