We killed her

Chapter 4

"Court," a soft voice whispered. My eyes began to slowly flutter open. My mom stood over me, with the same puzzled look she'd worn each time she visited.
"Hey," I said.
"Honey Blair, Hamilton, and Hayes are here," my heart leapt out of my chest, "do you want to see them?"
My mother looked confused and hurt. A little while after Beau admitted to being the one who found me, my parents came in from a press conference and my mother began crying when she saw me awake. My dad just kept muttering, "if we just hadn't gone out." It had gotten to the point where my mom threw her hands in the air and shouted.
"God dammit Ed just go outside!" she yelled, but as he slumped away she broke down in sobs all over again. Then she asked me again if I could remember anything. I swore that all I could remember was being dragged out of the house, and then being picked up out of the hole.
"Court?" her voice snapped me back to reality.
"Huh?"
"Do want to see Blair, Hayes and Hamilton?" I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded. The next thing I knew the door was opening, Blair was walking in and my mother was walking out, saying that she would be back soon.

Blair was the first one in the room, she looked horrible. Her hair was sloppily pulled up, she was wearing boxers from Pink and what appeared to be a men's Ohio State sweatshirt. After her was Hamilton in a young and restless t-shirt and blue board shirts, he was wearing a Nike cap but it was evident he hasn't combed his hair. He avoided my eyes, or looking at me in general, but I refused to look away remembering how he threw me to the ground and kicked my stomach.
Hayes silently followed them, but unlike the others he looked right into my eyes. I almost wanted to cover my face, I hadn't been able to meet Hayes' gaze since that night...

"Spring break forever bitches!" Blair yelled with her vodka bottle in the air. The line was so over used and cheesy, it was like something out of a Lifetime movie. But standing next to Blair with Hamilton's arm around me on Hayes's deck it didn't bother me one bit. Like everyone else at the party I threw my cup in the air and cheered then downed the vodka. Everyone below us screamed and began to jump as a synchronized club beet began to blast out of the speakers, Blair turned to us.
"Here's to the best spring break you bitches have ever had!" She laughed pouring more alcohol in my cup.
"I'm scared," Hamilton teased her. Blair smiled mysteriously.
"Mm, you should be. Now drink up, you don't want to be sober when the fun begins!" We all laughed but took long swigs from our cups, or in Blair's case bottle. Wait...was Hayes just staring at me over his cup? God, I am such a narcissist his girl friend is literally standing right next to me.
The night goes on, with more drinking and dancing. Slowly our classmates begin to leave, and eventually I find myself alone with Blair, Hamilton, and Hayes.
"I'm tired," moans Hamilton.
"Who wants to run to the store with me to get more to drink?" God, Blair never wants a party end. I roll over in the hammock I'm laying on.
"I'm staying here."
"Yeah, I'm to drunk to go anywhere," Hayes laughs. Hamilton shrugs.
"I'll go I guess," he says.
"Great!" Blair giggles and they run off.
Hayes stares at me, and I try to pretend to pretend not to notice and stare at my phone refreshing my feed.
"Why Hamilton?" Hayes asks suddenly moving to sit next me.
"What?"
"Why are you with him?'
"What I-I,"
"You're Courtney Adams," I have to keep myself together.
"I know. So?" I say smoothly. He smiles.
"Don't act like you don't know," he laughs. I must've looked confused because he laughed a bit.
"You're Courtney Adams, anyone would date you. Anyone. Why'd you pick Hamilton?" I stared at him. I knew when guys were flirting with me, I could tell in the halls when they were checking me out. But I'd never heard someone say it as he was now.
"For the same reasons to you chose Blair, I guess," I looked away now because it was so far from the truth. He laughed again.
"I doubt it."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't feel that way about Blair, that you think I do," now I stare right into his eyes and it's like I'm seeing them for the first time. He moves closer to me.
"I like you that way." His words echo through my ears. This is your best friend's boyfriend I tell myself, but still the minute he leans in towards me I don't back away. Kissing him is indescribable. It was like feeling love, betrayal, mystery all at the same time. He moved closer to me fumbling with the straps on my bikini. I wrapped my legs a find his torso and arms around his neck. He stopped and looked at me with those bright blue eyes that maybe, just maybe, had secretly been melting my heart for years.
"Are sure you want to do this?" He whispered. This is your best friend's boyfriend. This is your boyfriends best friend. But I nodded.
"Careful," we both jump. They're back. I hear Blair's drunken laugh. My hands fly to fix the bikini straps, Hayes falls off the hammock and scrambles to a chair.
My heart is still racing as they walk onto the patio.
"What'd you two do?" Slurs Blair.
"Nothing," I say to quickly. She laughs and walks over Hayes wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his soft lips. He opened his eyes and caught my gaze, only looking away when Blair whispered softly I love you.
Already I could feel a sickening pain inside me.
"I have to go," I said jumping up.
"What?" I heard Hamilton call. But I ran to my car already crying. When I sat down I looked into the rear view mirror. My mascara was dripping. I tried to wipe it away but only cried harder. I looked away I couldn't stand to look at myself.

Now I looked at all of them. My attempted murders and all I could think was they didn't have to do it. They didn't have to kill me. I would've done it for them.