Today I will be meeting the man I met online. I was never the type of person who meet up with people they met on the internet but in my situation, I don't give a fuck anymore. There's nothing at stake anymore, for once I want to do something reckless and take a chance.
We matched on Timeder couple of months ago. It was a shocker for me actually 'causeyo br honest, I'm below the average good looking rate but him, He, is good looking, not in a perfect way.
Ragged beauty, chinito and tall. It was on the 8th day after we matched that I had the courage to chat him, "Do you like Messi?". at that exact time that I pushed the send button was the time I got a message from him.
That's where it all started.
He's name is Anthon, Anthon Lukas Valdez. He is an adventurous man, he likes extreme sports but on the other hand he's a heart surgeon and very active on charity works for children who has cancer. He says that it was his mom's dream to have a son in the field of medicine but it was not his calling, at first but later on, he came to embrace it.
Lukas, the guy that I fell inlove... Truth be hold, I can't even believe how absurd it is to fall in love with a person that I haven't seen in peroson. But who cares? He's been running around my mind and I don't know how long until my heart will stop beating for him.
May be I do know...
THis all sound so cliche and unrealistic but indeed, i fell inlove and maybe he did too. We're most of the time talking on the phone or chatting, talking about random stuff and things that happened in our life. We were never an item but it felt like it.
And today I will be meeting him.
I am about to finally meet the guy that I've been talking my heart out.
My heart starts to beat uncontrolably, my vision starts to blur a little...
Finally, he is there standing in the middle of the crowd holding a boquet of white tulip. He look so raggedly handsome and everything. I don't know how or what to do, my hands' starting to sweat and I think I am having a panic attack...
Gosh please not now I still need to givr him millions of hugs and kisses.
"Sora?" Someone called me, he is smilling widely and has this goofy grin.
I closed my eyes and wished myself a good luck.
"Lukas..." That was the last word that came out of my mouth...
"Sora Arevallo, deceased, May 7, 11:11 am." I died, in his arms. He tried to save me.
I told him everything except for this. I thought i can live longer than this but my forever ends here, where our story could have started.
How I wish I have lived longer, talked to him earlier, found him sooner.
What could have happened? What if? I guess some people can't have experiences that most people can, but nevertheless i can only understand more of what I cannot have.
--- To lukas, to my first and last love.
"Sora Arevallo, madaya ka. Unang pagkikita palang natin sa mahabang panahon iniwan mo na ako agad. Marami pa akong gustong sabihin at gawin kasama ka pero bakit mo ko iniwanan agad. Our forever only lasted for 7 months and truly started for a minute but ended with a blink of your beautiful brown eyes.
Yung araw na nakita kita, you were wearing a white dress with your brown curly hair cascading down your shoulder. Mukha ka pa ngang natatae with your awkward smile but nevertheless, your still perfect. And you are finally arms away from me. Sa mga panahong yun tinatong ko ang Dyos kung ano ba ang nagawa kong maganda at biniyayaan ako ng tulad mo. A perfection, My perfection, mi amour.
Pero tangina nung makita kita na mawalan ng malay sa harap ko parang pati ako ako mamamatay din. I fuckin' told you on our way to the hospital to fucking stay with me. Pero putangina why did you let your hand loose. why? Why?!"
Tuluyan ng pumatak ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabadyang umagos sa aking mga mata. Hindi ko natapos ang eulogy ko para sa kanya. Hindi ko akalain na ang magiging unang speech ko sa kanya ay ang kanyang eulogy. Putang ina! Bakit sa dinami dami ng tao ay sa amin pa to nangyari? She was my first love, she was my little sky, nalaman ko kanina na kababata ko pala siya, she was my first love...
My little sky.
"SORA! WHY SID YOU LEAVE ME SO EARLY? I LOVE YOU! I WILL GIVE UP EVERYTHING JUST TO BE WITH YOU!"
Then suddenly all went blank.
