He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Chapter Five: When is a Date not a Date?

By the time Friday rolled around, I had pretty much given up on the idea that Theo was ever going to call me. Five days had gone by with no noise from him, and as optimistic as I tired to remain throughout the week, it finally became clear to me that he didn't even like me as friend.

If he did, he would have sent me something. 

Even a smiling emoji, would have been better then the radio silence I received. It was enough to convince myself that I really had let my imagination run wild at the idea that Theo and I would be an item, let alone friends. I was finally allowing myself to believe the truth, though it hurt to do so.

Maya was no help in that arena either. Every day she would call me to find out if Theo had reached out or if we had planned a get-away yet and every day I had tell her that he hadn't and probably wasn't going to.

It was so weird that she stayed incredibly optimistic throughout the whole thing, while I only became more and more disappointed as the days dragged on. She would tell me that he was just busy, so swamped with work that he could barely even stand up to pee let alone lift his hand to dial my number.

I don't know why she was so confident. So, convinced that he did want to talk to me, but it did warm my heart to see her be excited about something. She always seemed so tired and hopeless these days, that watching her brown eyes light up as she imagined all the reasons why Theo hadn't called me yet, was a happy change. 

Still, when I woke up Friday morning to the sound of my alarm clock blaring, I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes and finally allowed myself to think the words that made this entire ordeal official:

"Theo is not going to call me. We had once nice night together, but it's over." 

It hurt to think, but underneath that hurt was a sense of relief. A feeling that now that I had acknowledged this painful truth, I could finally move on with my life and start looking for love in more realistic places.

Of course, the hurt was still there. It sat at the back of my mind as I went about my morning routine, showering, packing a lunch, pouring kibble into Coco's bowl so she could eat. It was there, but the distraction of my day to day routine, helped me to not focus on it as much. 

In fact, I actually found myself feeling a bit better as I left my apartment and began walking to work that morning.

Well, not straight to work.

Glendale had a really cute coffee shop about three blocks from where I lived. I found it a few years back, while wandering around the quiet town with Coco one day. I stumbled upon this large, brick building, tucked into the corner of one of the local streets. It was warm and inviting, with glass counters that displayed the plethora of pastries, sandwiches and treats that they sold. 

They has some of the friendliest workers that greeted you warmly whenever you walked in and some of the richest, smoothest coffee I had ever had the pleasure of tasting. It was the perfect place and it quickly turned my casual coffee drinking habit into a full on necessity.

That's how I found myself walking the three blocks to Express O'clock every morning, before walking another three blocks back in the opposite direction to catch my bus to Edenwood Elementary. 

It usually meant I had to get up a few hours earlier, but it was worth it to be able to have that pick me up before dealing with overly energetic kids all day. And, I was really going to need it this morning, as I was trying to deal with the aftermath of ending a relationship that never actually existed in the first place. 

Luckily, the cool, October day was making it much easier to stay in a brighter mood. I felt refreshed with every breath I took and the breeze danced across my face and bare legs, cooling me from the warmth that had taken over my body from my apartment. I liked it now, but I knew that eventually, the cold whip of the wind would send a chill through me.