How it all began

Four

Mouth to mouth to save me.....
I looked up and blushed...soon anger and hatred filled the sweet feeling and turned into a hysterical madness. Pushing him off and running to my cabin. I didnt feel much...I didnt feel sadness or happiness but just anger why did he save me.....why didnt he let me die....why him!!!
Couldn't it have been anyone else?? Ugh!!
Jamie who followed me back to the cabin began questioning my anger towards that jock as "jealousy." Immediately mad I told her that I didnt believe in true love because it didnt exist. The same way my dad left because he didnt love my mom or me... Tears overwhelming me. Filling my head with thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking about how my dad left I remember it oh so clear.

Flashback
My tiny six year old self hid under the table from the madness of two arguing parents. Plates being thrown against the wall. Shattered glass on the floor. Shouts waking the neighbors who didnt step in even for the pity of an innocent child. Clothes being thrown out of a closet and shoved into a suitcase. The destruction of a tiny little souls desire for love not even taken into consideration. The wheels of the suitcase bouncing over the glass. Instinct taking over clinging to my daddys leg crying for him not to leave. "Daddy daddy I love you please. Stay with me. Please dont go." I begged and pleaded. His face flushed with sadness and pity but instantly replaced by anger. "Well I dont. I dont love you or your mom I always pretended. I hate you." Falling to the ground. The doors slammed in my face. Sirens. Glass being pulled out from my tiny smooth legs and arms. Waking the next morning alive but feeling dead.
End of flashback

After that day I didn't talk for months. That was the worst day of my life. I felt I had lost everything. Deeply sickened and affected by what happened I never believed in true love again. Not like I used to. Believing that I would find prince charming. Well not anymore. I never saw him again. I honestly don't know if I would have wanted to talk to him again even if he was deeply sorry. But I also don't know if it would have made me think differently of him. All I would say to him now is "Its ok 'daddy' I hate you too..."