.asymptomatic

quatre

Day 36 pt 2

I begin to strip down as I approach the en suit. Armie still hasn't said a single word but I know he's watching me. Should I suddenly be timid and hesitant to bare skin in front of him? Why? Because he damn near put his fingers inside me last night?

'I lowkey wish you did.'

'Fuck Luca for stopping it too. I mean... isn't this what he wants?'

My shirt lands right on the floor of his bedroom and I know it's gonna annoy him, so I make sure my pants lands right there on the floor too. I know he wouldn't dare say anything about it, not tonight, even if his first instinct is to pull a James Spader and address it as of it were an earthworm in an envelope.

My heart races at the thought.

Score: Timmy 18 (+1) / Armie 21

'Should I leave the bathroom door open?' I don't actually wanna look like I'm contemplating such a thing.

We've been playing around this game for a while now. Neither one of us can look each other in the eye and honestly say that what happened on set was just between Oliver and Elio. We've been blurring these lines for weeks. Kissing, sharing the same bed most nights. The way he touches me... the way his touch makes me feel.

As Elio and Oliver progress, so do we and at this point I can't tell if it's with less or more caution. But what I do know is that he feels like mine. And I think he knows he possess me too. 'And you sure wanna possess people, don't you, Armie?'

But it's good to make him a little nervous right? To keep him raw and open, like a wound you can't stop licking. 'Maybe I should jerk off in the shower and pretend I don't know he can hear me. Then what? He'll join me and ask if I need a hand, just like in those terrible movies.' I decide against it. 'This isn't a fucking 90s erotic novel.'

At least the water feels amazing on my skin and this gives me some time to reflect on what the actual fuck...

At some point what happened during the shooting of the midnight scene becomes a bit of a blurr. Armie managed to block the view of his hand which eventually did find its way around my throat but I doubt Luca wasn't aware. He sees and knows everything. But it happened so fucking quickly. I don't even think I was fully aware of what was going on until Luca called cut.

"Fuck!" Escaped my mouth. We were so close. Armie had his wet fingers right where they'd never been before. Where not even I've been before. 'Have I? Maybe a little. Maybe I should do that right now and see if I can be quiet.' I still gotta figure out exactly what I wanna do when I get outta here. Meanwhile he's probably laying there wondering the same thing.

'Laying there in your boxers, with your long legs, your perfect belly button and your chest, jesus, your skin, the goosebumps on your neck when I tug on your hair, those little warm sounds you let me hear, fuck...' I almost moan. I gotta get outta this shower.

--

"Shit." It's not exactly comfortable trying to dry yourself off when you've got a fucking semi. 'Goddamnit... calm down.' taking a breath, 'great, now I'm that dude in someone else bathroom thinking to my dick.' What would Luca say? 'Just let it be. Who cares? It's just our bodies and we're in Crema. Shame is for Americans and Catholics.' And while I am a born proud American, I don't feel connected to that aide of me here. Here I am my father's son.

--

'Oh! That sure did the trick.' Thinking about my dad isn't exactly proper to sustain an erection, so I am relieved of my problem. Unless you're into that kind of thing of course. 'Ha.' Catching my own eye in the mirror, I scrutinize my face, contemplating my features before my gaze falls to my mouth, "Daddy." I try it out, but even so the word seems so foreign and I cringe immediately, almost bursting out into a laugh, gripping the edge of the sink as my other hand flies to cover my mouth. 'Oh god.' I wonder if Armie is into that whole thing. 'Daddy'.

'God, please, no.'

I have to shake the thought out of my head and rather just focus on clothing my body. Nothing too facy. Just this typical checked pajama pants and a black t shirt. Armie taught me the joys of walking around bare feet, which being a New Yorker isn't like second nature to me at all, but because he grew up in the Cayman Islands, he takes to earth like a fucking wolf, he's most comfortable when he's directly connected to the ground and I've learned to appreciate the feeling.

People would think that it would be the opposite between us. Him being a Hammer, born in LA, and me being this half French theatre kid... that he would be this precious and pampered house kitty and I would be the wild tree climber. When in fact, I know that if the mood strikes him, I would have to lock the doors, lest he runs off into the night to roll naked in the woods and howl at the moon, or perhaps chant around fires, cooking the meat from an animal he hunted himself, with nothing but a knife and his instincts. Yeah he looks damn good in Armani, 'So fuckin good, oh my god.' but that's not who he is. What he really is... is so much hotter than any GQ photoshoot. 'I'm so fucked.'

I walk out expecting to see him laying in bed the way I pictured him, only now he's sat at the edge, alerted to my presence, he looks up, catching my eye but quickly flicks his gaze back down to my clothes on the floor, then right back up to me again. I knew it would urk him, but in the best possible way. Without understanding why, I give the bundle a little kick with my bare foot, just to let him know that I won't be picking it up... and then I understand why. Because the look on his face right now is enough to start me up for the next 5 years. Even he can't quite understand the reason my devience is having this effect on him. He's half stunned, frozen but also... amused, interested, fighting the urge to do something about it. 'You want me to push it further? Give you a real reason to...'

"What are'ya doin?"

'Oliver?'

But then his face changes when he hears his own voice speak those words, as if even he didn't hear himself in them. A seriousness in his eyes now that almost makes me gasp. 'Oh shit.' I'm guessing that in that split second he must have realized something... or made some kind of decision. Finally.

"Come here."

'Now that's Armie.'

I hesitate, finding anything else to focus my eyes on as I approach him, "Am I in trouble?" I speak softly, not because I'm scared someone else will hear me but rather because I might be trembling a bit.

"D'you wanna be?"

'Ooh that was hot. You're leaving it up to me.' I watch his chest move. He's breathing hard but trying to be lowkey about it.

"Maybe." 'Woe... so we're flirting? Okay. This is good. This is easier than I thought... I think. Shit.'

Armie scoffs out a bit of a chuckle, biting the side of his lip before sucking it through his teeth in a way that makes me bite my own. "Timmy..." My name is so warm in his mouth, I can almost feel the heat of it against my stomach when I finally reach him, standing in front of his massive body leaning into me from where he sat, mouth to my belly button. "Yeah?" the quesrion comes out of me like a soft breeze through bay windows.
'Don't look at me like that.' I can see he's thinking too deeply again. 'Do not fucking coward out on me, man. We were so close last night.'

"Maybe..."

'Oh for fuck's sake.' I roll my eyes but he takes hold of my wrists to make sure I don't go anywhere. His palms hot and firm against my skin. 'Okay maybe what then?'

"... maybe we set aside the trouble you're in for now?"

'Oh... that I wasn't expecting.'

'What was I expecting?'

'To get spanked?'

'Are you into that?'

'Am I?'

'There's not even enough of me to spank' I almost start laughing again until I realize that my focusing not being 'punished' has distracted me from the question of 'what are we gonna do then?'

"Armie..."

Suddenly taken by a need, I take his face in my hands, staring into his eyes as if searching for something. If I am, I don't know what I'm looking for, I just know I want to look. "Can I kiss you?"

He takes a moment to recognize the scenario but the knowing little smile on his face now tells me I did a good thing. A very good thing. "Yes please." 'Jesus fuck...'