church boy

2

i woke up extra early today to properly dress myself up. ofcourse, for god ;).

i picked my best button-up and a pair of denim pants. i parted my hair to the left and wore a natural looking lip gloss. i used my best perfume, and by then, my mom called me, telling me we are leaving.

i ran down the stairs with a smile, though i changed it back to my poker face so that my parents wont be suspicious.

"coming!" i yelled as my mother called for me again. gosh, i feel like i ran a marathon, this house is so big.

finally, after decades of running, i climbed into the car and sat beside the window.

i acted like i was not hyped as my parents told me what to do and not to do inside.

when i went out of the car, i felt my heart beat race.

maybe its because of the marathon lmao.

i walked inside the church, giving smiles to those i know.

the mass still havent started yet, we're like 30 minutes early.

i looked around to look for him but unfortunately, i did not see him.

maybe hes around here somewhere but i dont want to keep turning my head.

were sitting in the front and others will see.

what will others think?

what if he notices?

what if my cover gets blown up?

i dont want to move out because i accidentally let my parents know im gay.

and were in church!

im not supposed to be curious.

wait im overthinking, okay okay i'll stop.

the mass started and i got bored. i quickly tuned out my surroundings, my mind driting to him.

his voice, omg!

his face, his hair.

gosh what is happening to me?

after an hour of mass, it finally ended and luckily, my parents had to leave quickly, so i dont have to mingle with others and act friendly with them.

i felt sad vause i didnt see him. i hope next week i will see him.