Hatred - 2Min/Minmin

36

Minho's father didn't last two years.

Hell, he didn't last two months. It was all so sudden. One night he was there and the next all that was left of him was white dust. Minho lost track of time and often he found it hard to believe that all of it actually happened. Relatives had flown down and suddenly there was so many tears that there were none left for Minho.

His mother had cried and so had others. He had not known what to say to his mother when he had met her. They counted days and performed rituals together, both stealing glances at each other, grappling for words they might use. The silence was deafening.

After the tenth day, his mother went back to her family. "Will you be okay?" she had asked to Minho wile leaving and Minho had put up a brave font. Minho had lived most of his life hating his parents, crucifying them. But the twelve weeks he had spent with his dying father watching movies and reading to him had left Minho lurching with an identity crisis. His father took away all the bad memories with him, leaving behind a lump of good ones, reducing him to tears every time he thought about it.

He truly was an orphan now.

"Why don't you call your mother?" Hyunjin had asked a number of times.

"What would I say to her, Hyunjin? That I have suddenly forgiven her? That I am sorry I hated her for twelve years but it was my fault? What should I talk to her about? She doesn't know me anymore." Minho would say, trying hard not to reduce to a puddle of desperate tears.

Minho was most scared of days to come, the loneliness that would soon follow when the semester ended, when everyone would go back to their happy families and spend two happy summer months. Where would Minho go? To that empty house? To his mother's? What would happen to him? Why did he always fucking end up alone.

Minho didn't miss a single class. He spent days locked from inside his room, studying. Time was slipping by like sand frim a closed fist. The semester exams was near. The hostels would be empty after the exams, leaving him alone, he knew that. The loneliness would eat at him. He couldn't go back to an empty house. His mother had offered to host him with her family for the two-month break but it wasn't even an option. Her family- the word pierced through his heart every time he even thought of it. He would have to remind himself not hate his mother now. Suddenly, his chaotic life of hatred had an unsettling stillness to it. Death left behind a stench.

"You don't have to stay in the hostel. You can come back with me," Hyunjin had offered even though Minho hadn't shared his fear of being alone in the hostel with him. "My mom makes the best curry."

"Get some when youre back." Minho had said. "Thanks for the offer though."

"But where are you going to go?"

"I still don't have an answer to that."

The news of Minho's father's death had spread. His classmates didn't know how to it so they changed ways to avoid bumping into him. What do you really say? I'm sorry? How would that change anything?

Jisung had tried talking to Minho a few times but Hyunjin had asked him to stay away from Minho. Seungmin, too, a few failed attempts to bump into him consciously kept away from him. Minho didn't want pity, he wasn't sure what he wants anyway. Moreover, Seungmin would be busy with the exams, Minho figured. But he really did fucking want Seungmin. Maybe.

The fourth-year students, except Hyunjin, were the first ones to leave, the third floor was empty. The day crept close when the first-year students would leave too. He would be alone once again.

That day Minho was in his room revising induction motors when he heard what he thought was a girl shriek from other room. On further inception it turned out to be Sanuel, third-year mechanical, department rank three. It was him crying for he had lost his passport and he had until the evening to find it. MInho's nonchalance met with a caustic response. The boy shouted. "What the hell do you mean it doesn't matter? How will I go for the internship? How will I apply? They WANT THE PASSPORT NOW!" He had started crying again and Minho thought it was the best to leave.