𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙, 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑚

i. 𝑐𝑜𝑜𝑘

to say amelia valentine fucking hated birthdays would be the understatement of the century. her hatred for them started the day she was born if that could even be possible. her parents were about to have a fancy dinner at a super upper-class restaurant when karen valentine's water broke and amelia decided to be born. they had to reschedule their reservations to a year later because that was the only open spot available.

and on that day they couldn't go either because little amelia had the audacity to decide to get the flu causing them to have to reschedule for another year. after all, no one would babysit her. ten years later they tried to go again but amelia decided to get the chickenpox but her parents decided to say 'fuck you' and leave her all alone and the bastards didn't even buy her pizza which set her off so she did what any reasonable eleven year old would do and she burned down almost half of the stupid house as a 'fuck you too' and they weren't really pleased so they sent her to Jessie who was even worse at birthdays but now she had to be happy about birthdays because no one loved them more than cook who was singing bad songs and drinking.

"here ya go," he says handing her the bottle of whiskey. "thank you," she says before taking a gulp and holding it out to Freddie who shakes his head. "Suit yourself," she says before they walk into the pub. "I'm going to the bathroom," Amelia says before walking away.

after a few minutes, she returns to find a few kids from school now in the pub. "what took you so long?" cook asks as she walks up to them. "i hate public restrooms. I just wanted to make sure I didn't get rabies or something," Amelia says as Effy takes her hand before pulling the girl onto her lap. "finally, i was beginning to think you weren't here," effy says as amelia laughs.

"couldn't miss my best mate's birthday," amelia says before they sing to him. "we should start a choir," amelia says sarcastically. the truth was they sang like it was a funeral. and even if they did sing at a funeral the deceased person would probably come back to life to tell them to shut the fuck up.

after they do shots cook howls causing freddie, jj, and amelia to join as amelia rests her feet on the chair next to effy's. jj does a magic trick making a fish appear in a glass of water which cook drinks causing pandora to throw up which causes amelia to feel faint.

when she opens her eyes she's laying on a bench with her head on effy's lap. "hey," effy says moving the girl's hair out of her face. "what happened?" amelia questions. "cook drank a fish, panda threw up and you passed out," effy explains. "oh, god. two disgusting things happened and i can't handle that shit," amelia says with a laugh.

"we're actually supposed to be at this bullshit party but we can ditch if you want," effy says as amelia sits up. "nah, i can't leave. but we could make the best out of this together," amelia says getting up as effy follows. "sure," effy says before they walk into the party boat.

when they find the gang they're in a bathroom. "welcome back to the land of the conscious millie," cook says looking at the girl who gives him a thumbs up. "and the weird blonde girl ate all the spliff," he adds. "shit," effy speaks up as the blonde girl laughs.

"let's get you out of here," effy says before pulling the girl out of the bathroom as amelia removes a cigarette from her pocket before lighting it. "don't smoke in here," a random girl says as amelia flips her off before leaving the bathroom.

soon she's in an alley with freddie, cook, and jj. the night had completely gone to shit. she remembered smoking a cigarette and dancing with effy and drinking. lots of drinking, mostly on her part. "i think im gonna take millie home," freddie says putting his arm around the girl's shoulder who was singing a weird lullaby. some la dee dee bullshit she vaguely remembers from her childhood. "what? it's barely two," cook speaks up.

"she's fucked up. she can't do this anymore," freddie explains. "maybe we should ask her," cook asks looking at amelia. Her eyes were closed at this point and her head was resting in the crook of freddie's neck but she was still softly singing. "fuck this. we're leaving," freddie says before picking up amelia. "bye besties," amelia says before freddie walks off.