Secretly Broken

01.

Dear Diary,
3:00AM. There I was. Crying and self harming and hating myself and considering suicide. It was like my mood had clicked. Snapped even. One minute I was thinking about sleeping. Then I was thinking about dying. Both sounded rather delightful.
You see, depression isn't just being sad about something. It's a constant, over whelming amount of sadness or emotion that just drains you out. It's not nice being worthless, or useless or unloved. It hurts. More than anyone could ever imagine. Just think. We watch everyone else around us live a perfect life with perfect friends and perfect grades and a perfect family and the most perfect talents. And we're just there. Feeling and knowing that we're not wanted. Nor needed.
I decided to turn to instagram. Having internet friends - more like saviours - there whenever you desired was. Just amazing. Beyond belief. Different time zones, meaning there will always be at least one person that's online and cares. But also, the fact that they weren't bothered about what you looked like. Who you were. What you did in the past. Whatever your voice sounded like. Anything. They accepted you for you.
You see, teachers often taught me to never trust anyone online. Yeah, they could be someone they're not. But it's funny how the people online became more honest and easier to trust than the people in person. That's funny.
Yours truly, kiera.
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Oh hey. So uhm. Depression. Yerp. Personal subject but we thought. HAY! LETS SHARE OUR 100% DEPRESSING EXPERIENCES WHERE WE SELF HARM AND DO ALL THIS STUFF FOR THE WORLD TO SEE. No it wasn't like that. We hope that it can relate to some people. But yes. Hope you enjoyed. Ily