billie eilish imagines

teacher

TW: mentions of rape
gxg

the bell rang loudly, sending a shooting pain through my head. i winced at the unpleasant feeling before standing up and gathering my things. nearly every day of that year was spent by me dreading the last bell. it meant i had to find a new place to sleep. a new place to do homework. a new place to find food. this day was one of the first days i had started having to look out for myself. the kids flooding out of the room noisily broke me away from my thoughts.

i threw my backpack over one shoulder weakly and made my way to the door. before i could make it all the way, a pleasantly familiar voice uttered my name. i turned around to be met with stunningly blue eyes filled with a mixture of emotion.

"can you stay after for a second? i need to talk to you." she gestured to a seat in front of her desk. mrs. o'connell. she was the light of my day. my favourite teacher, and most of the time a distraction from the harsh reality i was living. we were pretty close for being teacher and student, she probably thought of me as her child but i liked to think of her as more of a... i don't know what the word is. it felt like she was leading me on sometimes though.

my cheeks flushed with anxiety and also maybe some excitement. i didn't have to leave my safe space just yet. but what did she need to talk to me about?

i nodded and sat while she closed the door, locking it behind her.

"i think maybe you're the one who needs to talk to me instead." she says, sitting on the desk in front of me. her scent filling my nostrils with the close proximity. i cleared my throat.

"about what?"

she knew. and i knew she knew, but i didn't exactly want to talk about it or explain anything. and i wanted to see how much she knew.

"sunny... you've been closing up on me. you're grades are slipping. you never talk to any of your friends anymore. whats going on?" she asks. teachers intuition. if that's even a thing. but now i knew that she was going to pry it out of me. she was good at that.

i shrugged, my hands stuffed into the pouch of my hoodie. it stayed silent for a moment and i stared blankly into the floor.

her hand came into my field of view before one of her fingers hooked under my chin and nudged up a little. we made eye contact. the simple touch ignited a warm fire in the pit of my belly.

"sunny, please talk to me." her eyebrow twitched. a telltale sign of hers that meant she was stressed about something.

"i'm not ready." i shook my head, averting my eyes from hers.

"are you sure? you seem like you have something building up. maybe you'll feel better if you talk about it."

i chewed on my lower lip, bouncing my leg anxiously.

"okay... just-  give me a second."

it took me a moment to piece the right words together.

"my mom... she got a new boyfriend. roman. he started- i don't know- getting touchy? after a while it got worse. he would... you know- do stuff to me. it started happening every night. there were even a few times when i woke up and he was on top of me. i tried telling my mom but she said that roman wasn't like that and told me she didn't believe me. so i got tired of it and ran away. my mom thinks i'm living with my real but i couldn't find him. i'm not really living anywhere now." i felt a tear slip down my cheek. for some reason, in that moment i was embarrassed by it. the tear, me telling her what was going on, all of it.