Frost Burned (A Natsu x Gray fanfic)

First Class

Gray sat on the train platform waiting for Natsu, eyeing Erza warily as she paced. Natsu never arrived for the train on time. His motion sickness made traveling hell for him and as a result he was not exactly eager to climb into any form of transportation. Erza should know this by now, as Lucy had reminded her repeatedly. The blonde mage sat on nearby bench picking at her fingernails.

Gray remembered when Natsu had first brought Lucy to the guild. It was like a knife in his chest. Deep down, he knew he was already in love with Natsu, but he refused to accept it. Then Natsu showed up with Lucy, a beautiful blonde, larger than life. With her celestial magic and outgoing personality, the two were perfect for each other. Everyone in the guild thought it was just a matter of time before they got together. Gray wanted to hate Lucy with every fiber of his being. He was a coward. He wouldn't even admit the truth of his feelings, not even to himself. Lucy was brave, and honest, and spoke what she felt straight from her heart. He couldn't hate her, no matter how hard he tried. Yet every time he saw them together it was salt in his wounds. What Lucy did, just by being near Natsu, was open Gray's eyes to the truth. He felt grateful to her now, especially since the two genuinely seemed to care for each other only as friends. The celestial wizard forced him to be more honest. Even if he did not have the courage to tell Natsu the truth, once Lucy showed up, he stopped lying to himself.

Gray was in love with Natsu. He realized he had been since he was barely out of childhood, even if he had been too young to understand what it was he was feeling.
The desire to be close to his friend, more than any other.
The worry that ate at his chest when Natsu was gone too long on a mission.
The fear that tightened his throat when the fire mage stood against a strong enemy, and the exultation Gray felt when he saw him triumph, time and time again, against impossible odds. As he watched him fight to inevitable victory, a voice down inside whispered, That's my Natsu. 
Then there was the fierce jealousy that took Gray by surprise when Natsu spent a lot of his time with others. Gray did not want to share him, he wanted Natsu all to himself. Gray wanted to possess him. Still, he didn't fully understand what it all meant.

Then, Gray had his first real dream about Natsu. God, he had been so fucking confused. Gray had cleaned up and stormed to the guild. He found the Dragonslayer and immediately started beating the hell out of him. The fight went gone on so long, Makarov and Erza had to break them up, which was a rare thing. They usually let them fight until they wore themselves out, but Gray was out for blood. He dislocated Natsu's shoulder and sprained his own wrist. Gramps had taken Gray aside afterwards and asked him what had gotten into him. The ice wizard just shook his head. He did not know what had gotten into him. All he knew right then was that he wanted it out.

Natsu had simply called him an asshole and demanded a rematch, all with a smile on his face.

"That was a good one," he'd said. Fucking Natsu.

When Gray stopped fighting what was going on inside, confusion turned to frustration. Longing. It became a serious struggle to hide his feelings at first. He would catch himself staring, then blush furiously. Without thinking about it he would constantly ask the others where Natsu was, or what job Natsu was on. Looking at it from the outside, it seemed obvious. He often wondered how no one had noticed before. Natsu was not the most observant of people, but the guild was filled with watchful eyes and sharp intellects. Many nights Gray had lain awake in fear, sure that someone would figure him out and expose his secret. Then his best friend would hate him, and he doubted he would see much of Natsu anymore. Gray wasn't even certain he would be able to stay in the guild if that happened, suffering looks of pity and disgust. The thought of leaving Fairy Tail left him hollow inside. Never fight with his guild mates again? Never see Natsu's smile, or hear his laugh? It was unthinkable. No one could know. Especially not Natsu.