The Underground Review

From The Beginning

                The flashing of a dozen or so police lights lit up the dark park, their sirens filling the air with an all too familiar sound. My mother was holding me tight with one arm, and clutching a pistol with her free hand. Though the threat was dealt with, lying dead on the pavement between us and countless officers, something was still wrong.

That night, before the police arrested my mom, making it the last time I would ever see her as a free woman again, she said something I would never forget.

"Never stop running and never let your guard down. They wont stop looking for you until they know you're dead. I wish I could protect you longer, but you have to protect yourself now. I love you so very much." After that, she dropped the pistol, allowing the police to take her away.

I was only six at the time, but I could remember that night like it was yesterday. Since then, I have bounced from orphanage to orphanage, never staying long. I had no family to speak of other than my mom, and last I heard she was locked up tight in a psych ward. I couldn't help but feel like people were looking for me. Once I started to feel suspicious of where I was at, I would run away. I'm sixteen now and my life is very much so chaotic.

"How many foster homes? How many orphanages? How many times will it take for you to realize that we all just want to help give you the best opportunity at life Chase?" Sherry was like a parent to me, as she was always doing her best to find me a good home. Though it was her job, I felt like she truly wanted what was best for me, if only she knew what that was.

I kept my eyes to the ground as I sat in her office after a police officer dropped me off, "I'm sorry, I just got that feeling again."

Sherry let out an audible sigh of frustration, "Look, I get it. Adjusting to a new life is hard, especially when you feel like everyone around you is a stranger."

"Everyone IS a stranger." I interrupted.

"Right. My point is you have to give them a chance. Don't you want to have a family? A support system?" She leaned in, her voice low and sincere.

I knew what I wanted to say, that I had a mother who was being kept away from me, but I knew where that conversation would go. Nowhere, "I just want to be on my own. Can't I get a job now and live by myself? Isn't there some way that's possible? I feel like there is. If not, then there should be." I pushed back.

She let out another sigh, this time one of frustration, "Yea, there are ways. You can present your case to a judge and hope he doesn't know everything I know," She let a brief pause sit, all the while I could feel her eyes piercing through me. I did my best to avoid eye contact, "but we all know that you have a checkered history with the law and your foster care families. You need to sit still, get your life together and quit running."

"I wish it was that easy." I could feel the frustration well up inside, but I knew it would do little good to argue with her.

"It IS that easy Chase. It is." Another pause and another sigh, "I've set you up with another orphanage, St. Paul's Orphanage in west Dalton. They received your file and know what to expect, so please be courteous, you're running out of places to go."

Part of me felt happy that there were few places left to ditch, but I know that wasn't the point she was trying to make, "I'll behave."

"Yea," She huffed, "I've heard that one before." She shuffled some papers around, finally breaking her piercing gaze.

The rest of the night was something all tofamiliar. I remained in her office at the Child Protective Service building formost of the day until a police officer found the time to transport me to mynew, 'Home'. Luckily, I traveled light, only carrying a few changes of clothes.I didn't hold on to much, as I was constantly moving, it was easier this way. Whenthe office came, I grabbed my suitcase and left for the orphanage.