⚠️tw:mentions of sh and maybe other triggers⚠️
I'm such and awful person,,I'd see a person with recovery or more recent sh scars and I get.......jealous....I wish my arms or my legs would look like that...it's probably bc I want the attention...I have bad intrusive thoughts so my brain makes up weird and unwanted thoughts and sometimes those thoughts are acted out in my brain,,I had one where I imagined my teacher seeing my sh scars and my parents found out about it....maybe bc my parents don't show me attention and affection anymore....am I that awful of a person.?? I also get so jealous when my friends are affectionate to their parents...WHY CANT I JUST BE FUCKING HAPPY FOR THEM....that's there life it's not my fault they love each other...I even encouraged my friend to get into a relationship...I don't even wanna get started so my relationship problems....every time I get closes to a relationship I get scared and think of the worse...i might be poly but it's an open relationship type of poly...but I still want all of my partner to be together...like all of us together....got maybe I just need help....I'm so sorry if your my friend
