unhappy

Why.

I woke up at 5Am.
"knife" the first thing i thought "to my skin" i got up and grabbed my cigarettes. I went outside and I looked around. The wrold still so dark, so quiet and empty.  I took out my lighter and realised how messed up i am. I took one puff.
As i filled my lungs with smoke.  Hour passed its about the time for my morning walk to end now.

I walked in my house and went back to sleep.

7 AM

I woke up, i put on my rings and necklaces and finished my makeup.
I rushed to school afterwards.
I saw other people happy and toghter. "Why. Why not me. Why am i the only one who's so alone.
I just want affection and feeling close to someone, i just wanted...." I thought and i saw my friend coming. "ugh that ugly bitch is coming here" "no what is wrong with me she's not ugly she's my friend you idiot" i kept fighting with myself in my head.

After. We went to class.

After school.

I went to the skate park and saw some little kids smoking there. "ask him for a hit! Ask him for a hit!" thoughts kept coming in my head
I shut them down as i went to my bus.
I've forgot my money. Fuck.
I sat there with my free ticket in the hand.